Dec 132011
Authors: Kate Frasure

1. What can your sugar honey do for you?

A. Just pass me the dough.
B. Wisk me away from my problems and give me the good romantic life.
C. My baby just needs to love me for who I am.

2. You need money, honey, and NOW. You’re most likely to interrupt him or her…

A. Combing through the latest financial reports from
sketchy off-shore bank accounts.
B. Sleeping. Between me and work, my darling doesn’t get
much…sleep, anyways.
C. Sorting laundry, drinking tea and eating scones.

3. You call your sugar honey…

A. Professor, even though I’m not a student anymore.
B. Wolfman Harry! I know it’s not appreciated, but I love to make honey mad!
C. Poppet, Smoochie-Poo – that sort of thing.

4. You love sugar honey because he or she is…

A. Really, really disgustingly rich. Did I mention the
privately owned island?
B. Suave, sexy, and good with the hands…among other
C. Loyal, noble, gentle, loving and completely wrapped
around my finger.

Mostly A’s: Bill Gates or Oprah

You’re in it for the sweet, sweet lovin’ of cold, hard cash. You’re basically willing to do whatever it takes to never see a student loan payment a day in your life. A little sucking up to your honey is totally worth the endless amounts of ridiculously expensive and meaningless gifts that comprise your relationship, right? Fellas, get ready to join an entourage – hey maybe you’ll get a free car! Ladies, iron your best pantsuit – you’re gonna need it.

Mostly B’s: Russell Brand or Britney Spears

As long as you have booze money and a place to crash for the night, you’re ready to party the night away with your honey. Sure, your sweetie may call you every name but your own, run naked with hair clippers through your house and throw ragers until 7 a.m., but it’s kind of like a more intense frat party. Forever. Ladies, if you can make it through his jumbled British ramblings you’ve got it made. Fellas, yeah… good luck with that crazy train.

Mostly C’s: John Krasinski or Amy Adams

If you have an unnatural ability to talk in a nasal baby voice and can handle endless amounts of pinching, then you’re golden. You and your honey are so cheesy, in fact, that it carries over into most of your daily tasks. No, your boss will never respond to “honey bunches,” no matter how hard you try. You and your honey are so disgustingly cute that you probably belong together so you can go somewhere far away from innocent public ears…and take that stupid stuffed animal with you!

 Posted by at 3:56 am

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