So far the top 10 grossing films of 2010 have made a combined total of $7,551,932,567. This is enough money to give everyone on the planet about $1. Since numbers and money are probably the last thing you want to read about this week, Iâ€™ll stop talking about it. I just wanted to point out how much money that was.
For this column, which will be my last until 2012, I have created a list of the top 10 grossing films in 2011 so far. There is also a description of each film in the form of a haiku.
I have done this for a few different reasons. First off, with the stress of hell week and finals week looming, I donâ€™t have the time or energy to write a well researched and argued 800-word column. Also, I doubt you will want to add to your overly stressed brain by reading a well-researched and argued 800-word column. You might not have noticed, but I have filled the same space as an 800-word column using only 400 words. Go ahead count them.
Also, these movies took millions of dollars to produce by hundreds of people over a span of years, yet they can be summed up in 17 syllables. Here they are:
â€œHarry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2â€ â€“â€“ $1,328,111,219 grossed worldwide:
Oh your 4-syllable name
Why are you with Ron?
â€œTransformers: Dark of the Moonâ€ â€“â€“ $1,123,196,189 grossed worldwide:
Megan Fox is gone
The script, plot, acting still suck
At least things explode.
â€œPirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tidesâ€ â€“â€“ $1,043,871,802 grossed worldwide:
The first one was great
Arr, pirates and eyeliner
Canâ€™t they just end this?
â€œKung Fu Panda 2â€ â€“â€“ $663,024,542 grossed worldwide:
It costs $15
To see a film in 3D
At least thereâ€™s Jack Black
â€œFast Fiveâ€ â€“â€“ $626,137,675 grossed worldwide:
Vin Diesel is bald
Like the tires of his cars
This movie was long
â€œThe Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1â€ â€“â€“ $587, 926,409 grossed worldwide:
What a funny film
Still donâ€™t get why they sparkle
Donâ€™t ever give birth.
â€œThe Hangover Part IIâ€ â€“â€“ $581,464,305 grossed worldwide
The wolf pack is back.
Too bad wolves in â€œTwilightâ€ are
funnier than this.
â€œThe Smurfsâ€ â€“â€“ $561,718,041 grossed worldwide:
Katy Perryâ€™s voice!
A 1980s cartoon
Neil Patrick Harris
â€œCars 2â€ â€“â€“ $551,846,625 grossed worldwide:
No Vin Diesel here
Guess Pixar can make mistakes
NASCAR is not cool
â€œRioâ€ â€“â€“ $484,635,760 grossed worldwide:
Something about birds
At least itâ€™s not a sequel
I hate George Lopez.
News Editor Matt Miller is a junior journalism major. hHs column appears Wednesdays in the Collegian. Please send your movie haikus to his Twitter
Official_MattM or to letterscollegian.com.