Nov 302011
 
Authors: Allison Sylte

It’s a tradition between me and my high school friends. Every year, when I head back to Centennial for Thanksgiving Break, we see the newest addition to the “Twilight” saga. It’s kind of weird, because none of us really like it that much, and we’re also in our 20s, which means that we kind of stand out among the hoards of preteens.

But, nevertheless, this Thanksgiving Break, once again I found myself sitting in a dark movie theater, holding a ticket stub that confirmed to me, yes, I did in fact spend $9.50 to see “Breaking Dawn Part I” on opening weekend. I’m not going to lie: it was 117 minutes of my life that I’m not getting back.

“Twilight” was pretty bad. “New Moon” was slightly better, if only because Taylor Lautner spent the whole movie shirtless. “Eclipse” might have been one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my life.

But “Breaking Dawn Part I” took my perception of how terrible filmmaking and writing can be and brought it to such a low level that, when I watched “All About Steve” later that week, I was positively enthralled.

Granted, it started promisingly enough. Taylor Lautner was shirtless within 30 seconds, and I got a good laugh out of watching his anguish as he dramatically dropped his wedding invitation into the mud to the “Twilight Saga’s” ever impressive soundtrack of up and coming emo artists.

But, after the 20 minute long wedding sequence where Kristen Stewart looked into Robert Pattinson’s eyes with her trademark confused facial expression, possibly the most awkward sex scene involving humans, vampires and a destroyed bed I have ever seen, and then a birthing sequence that made me want to get my tubes tied, I realized something: I am absolutely embarrassed that I spent money to see this.

After all, what lesson does the “Twilight Saga” have? That you need a man to complete you? That if you ever get pregnant, you’re going to die? That it’s worth it to forgo your friends for the sake of a boy? That if you literally only have one facial expression, you can still find success?

Maybe it’s the lonely, vitamin-D deprived Collegian staff member in me speaking, but that just doesn’t sit well with me. “Breaking Dawn,” for me anyway, is the point where the “Twilight” saga went from harmless fun to something that’s actually pretty damaging.

Hopefully, next Thanksgiving, my friends and I can find a new tradition, mainly so I don’t have to sit through Part II… but I probably will anyway.

_Content Managing Editor Allison Sylte can be reached at verve@collegian.com. _

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