Fort Collins is under attack.
A legion of red-eyed, forgetful rabble-rousers has invaded our convenience stores, clearing the shelves of cereal, Funyuns and Gatorade.
This wild bunch has since escaped to their homes to play video games, watch YouTube videos and play Bop It.
Thankfully, the Concerned Fort Collins Citizens have nobly taken up the battle against these monsters.
The group has acquired more than 7,000 signatures in support of a ban of medical marijuana dispensaries in Fort Collins.
You see, the CFCC and 7,000 others have a dream.
They dream of a community where the streets are lined with gumdrops, the sun always shines, anyone under 30 years old goes to bed by 8 p.m. and pot is an evil of the past.
The group says there has been a â€œ20 percent increase in marijuana-related crimeâ€ from 2009 to 2010. But what is marijuana-related crime? And how does it compare to alcohol-related crime? Or gang-related crime?
Should we ban alcohol next? Maybe mouthwash? Maybe cough drops?
The Collegian Editorial Board does not in any way support doing drugs, but we do support the people of Fort Collins having access to a medicine that Colorado lawmakers have deemed legal.
It is also worrisome to take away a legal distribution of marijuana. Doing so would almost surely increase the illegal sale of pot. Would we rather fill our streets with legal drug dealers, or illegal drug dealers?
If it bothers the CFCC to know that there are people in their town who are smoking pot, or staying up late, or consuming alcohol, maybe they should move to another state, or Nazi Germany.
These Concerned Fort Collins Citizens have a dream… a pipe dream.