Apr 052011
 
Authors: Ryan Gibbons and Glen Pfeiffer

We’ve talked about awesome apps before, but today we’re going to talk about some apps that don’t exist but would be awesome if they did. The “I heart Justin Bieber” app will not be on the list because it already exists (download now to ‘unlock your Justin Bieber beating heart’).

1. College Food: We already have the “What The F Should I Make For Dinner” app, but it has one problem –– it often wants ingredients that we don’t have in the kitchen. We want an app that allows you to take a picture of the inside of your fridge, use food-recognition technology to see what’s there, then spit out a custom recipe for a meal we can make. There’s no excuse for modern technology to not be able to provide us with a gourmet meal when all we have in the house is frozen waffles, soy sauce, pickles and some of New Belgium’s finest.

2. iStalker: Yelp revolutionized the market when they introduced “augmented reality.” You simply open the app, hold the phone in front of you and it uses the compass, GPS and camera to display a live video feed with information overlaid about the businesses you see around you. It’s a lot like magic.

Now imagine you’re sitting in the plaza and you see a group of sexy women (or beefy gents, depending on your preference). Just hold up your phone and facial recognition software kicks in, automatically accessing Facebook to tell you who’s single, who “is complicated” and even their favorite TV show so you can custom tailor your pickup line.

3. Soundtrack to Your Life: Everyone knows how awesome it would be to have a soundtrack to your life. You might as well, if you’re going to walk around campus all day with earbuds stuck in. What this app would do is use the GPS to detect your location when entering or exiting a place or building and automatically play an appropriate song. Walk into the gym ¬¬–– “Eye of the Tiger.” Class with a cute TA –– “Hot For Teacher.” Breaking into your old apartment –– there’s definitely a Barenaked Ladies song for that.

4. iFrisbee: Ever wanted to go toss a flying disc with some of your floor mates from the dorm but didn’t have one available? iFrisbee would provide the solution. Just open up the app, keep your elbow locked and give your phone a good huck. Remember, wrist snap is necessary to reduce the wobble upon release.

5. Auto Snooze: Over our past four years here at CSU, we’ve ditched our fair share of classes, but we’ve also found ourselves sitting in class wishing we had remembered that it was a review day. With Auto Snooze, you’ll never have to worry about that again. Just import your class syllabus at the start of the semester and the app will determine the least important days, allowing it to automatically shut off your alarm the night before. Hello 1:00 p.m. wake up!

In conclusion (we’re using this transition to make any CO150 instructors who might be reading quiver in their chair), the only thing missing from this list would be a mute button for the campus crusaders who ambush you for ‘a minute of your time’ on the plaza. But then we realized your phone comes with that technology built in –– the headphone jack. Just plug ‘em in and live in a peaceful bliss. For bonus points, start up Soundtrack to Your Life and see if “No Time” by The Guess Who will play when they approach you.

Columnists Glen Pfeiffer and Ryan Gibbons mostly only have the food listed above in their fridge. Please send feedback and Cafe Mexicali smothered burritos to verve@collegian.com.

 Posted by at 3:12 pm

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