Mar 212011
 
Authors: Anna Baldwin and Eugene Daniels

By Eugene Daniels

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

We have heard this quote for years and years, but is it true?

I don’t know about fonder, but it makes you not want to kill the other person. Seeing each other too much is not good for either of you in a relationship.

A friend of mine was in a relationship for about three months. They did everything together.
Bought groceries, did homework and even worked together. They were literally together as much as two human beings could be.

I told him it was a bad idea, but he didn’t listen.

And you know what happened?

He killed her …

Okay, I lied. No murder was involved but they did break up (so, I guess there was a death –– it was their relationship’s funeral that family and friends had to attend).

Now this may be one of the few times that Anna and I agree, but I don’t think you should avoid friends because of your significant other.

Anna just needs to suck it up and get a man of her own. All of the other friends need to realize that you have to live your life and your friends have to live theirs.

So don’t measure spending time with your girlfriend or boyfriend based on your friends. Like I said in the last column, Anna is going to be a lonely bag lady. And when was the last time their reasoning made sense?

Never. Okay I’m off my tangent and back to the column.

Two things happened in my friend’s relationship : they got bored with each other and there was no more mystery in the relationship –– no spontaneity.

It got to the point when they didn’t like texting the other one back or even looking at each other. She slept over his house every night and one day they woke up and looked at each other and it was like “Ugh, you again?!”

When you see someone every day, you learn everything about them –– that is detrimental to a relationship. A relationship can’t grow when you’ve both read the manual on each other.

I’m not saying lie about your life and hide secrets. But I am saying, be your own person and bring that to the relationship. Don’t make your relationship your life.

Or you’ll be sleeping alone. Like Anna.

By Anna Baldwin

Hey, remember my best friend who I used to do absolutely everything with? We joked we were a “package deal.”
Or, surely, you remember my old roommate. We once went on a three-state road trip.

Nope, I don’t either. These are friendships lost.

The reason? Boyfriends got in the way.

These friends decided they would spend all their time with one other person. Little did they know that they were basically throwing their social life into oncoming traffic.

Eugene and I agree that spending too much time with someone is a bad idea, but for different reasons. Clearly Eugene doesn’t have many friends if he thinks relationships that cause the loss of friends is not a big deal.

I’ve been noticing this reoccurring trend of girls losing friends because they were spending too much time with the one guy they thought would be “the one.”

This is not a good idea. A girl can’t exactly take her boyfriend with her to get a pedicure, go wedding dress shopping, talk about leggings or female problems.

Every woman needs a guy in addition to friendships, and not instead of the friends.

So, how much time is too much? Unless a girl lives with the guy, seeing him every day could be too often. When will the bikini waxings fit in?

If she doesn’t live with her guy, then spending the night with each other every night is too much time. Alternating nights at her house and then his house seems cute, but that’s just ridiculous.

One has to consider the roommates of this girl. I can actually say that as a forgotten roommate this situation sucks. My house feels lonely most of the time.

Continuously texting or talking on the phone to a boyfriend also constitutes as spending time with him because they’re not participating with the world.

Everyone needs space.

Women, it’s your choice to keep your friends, and don’t let your boyfriend pressure you into ditching people or always being with him. Eugene might get you to try to do this.

Anna Baldwin is a senior journalism major, and Eugene Daniels is a junior journalism major. Mars vs. Venus appears Tuesdays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to letters@collegian.com.

 Posted by at 3:04 pm

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