Feb 162011
Authors: Ryan Gibbons and Glen Pfeiffer

Half of this binary team was on a plane two summers ago on his way back from an extended trip in paradise (Alabama) and had the fortune of sitting next to a decently good-looking member of the opposite sex. As luck would have it, we actually maintained a good conversation for the bulk of the three-plus hour flight.

Unfortunately, she had a boyfriend, and our relationship ended after having barely begun. But knowledge was gained from it: three important facts. Through conversation she revealed her name, what state she was from and that she went to a major university there.

When the binary roommates were reunited back home, of course the cute chick was mentioned in conversation. As many males reading this can attest, the “pics or it ain’t true” sentiment was voiced.

In darker times centuries ago, no proof would ever have been able to come to light. But thanks to the modern day art of Facebook stalking, we were able to drum up a picture of her in no time at all using only the three important facts.

Thanks to the ability to search Facebook by school network, region and place of work it took no time at all to guess which university in Georgia she attended, type in her first name and review the pictures that came up. Not everyone has an identifiable picture but in this instance, it totally worked.

Now take another common college scenario: you walk into class and sit down next to a beautiful young man or lady. The romantic in you would love nothing more than to strike up a conversation, but you know nothing about him or her. Wouldn’t it be perfect if you could look up on Facebook, find out a little about him or her and then effortlessly win over his or her heart the next time the class meets? That’s easy enough, but in a lecture-sized class you probably don’t know the person’s name.

Enter RamCT. This method isn’t going to work for everyone, but hopefully your professor has the class roster posted on RamCT. They often do. Simply start copying and pasting the names that fit the gender of the person you’re trying to find and it’s a “simple” process of elimination.

If you’re looking for your O-chem crush in a class of 250 people, the amount of time you spend on this method has a direct correlation to how cute you think the person is.

One day we’ll have a conversation Mellisa, one day.

If you find yourself stalking a John Smith, you’ll probably want to use a more advanced search. To do so, simply type the name into the search bar at the top of Facebook and click on “See more results for ‘John Smith.’” Once the results are delivered hit “people” on the left hand side. You’ll now be given the option to start applying filters that let you hone in on location, education and workplace.

For those of you who are put off by the thought of Facebook stalking –– whether you feel wrong perpetrating it or feel violated thinking it could be done to you –– consider adopting the following philosophy.

We keep our Facebook profiles out there and open for you to see if you want. Why, you ask? That’s unsafe, you say? We only put info on there that we WANT people to know about us. If you hide your profile because you want to keep your info private –– we’d say it’s a bit oxymoronic to put private info on Facebook at all.

We don’t think it’s creepy. We would consider being Facebook stalked an honor! It’s nice to know you’re interesting enough that someone wants to know more about you.

Columnists Ryan Gibbons and Glen Pfeiffer want all the ladies they’ve ever covertly Facebook-stalked to feel honored. Send gripes, rants and positive STD test results to verve@collegian.com.

 Posted by at 3:27 pm

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