Editorâ€™s Note: The Ali referred to in this column is Collegian News Editor Allison Sylte.
Alex (my roommate) and I embrace while exchanging last words, having already determined our collective fate.
I grab my bear spray from the bedside table. Alex grabs her knife. Ali, our other roommate, is forced to stare death in the eyes as we push her down the stairs to investigate the strange noise.
I know an intruder is in our house.
Alex relinquishes her knife to Ali while I hide in the corner, holding tight to my bear spray with 911 dialed.
Ali yells, â€œGuys, chill, the noise was my guitar falling,â€ and erupts in laughter at our sheepish faces.
People seem to fit into two categories when it comes to safety: One is either extremely safe â€“â€“ similar to me â€“â€“ while others are brave and even curious to approach a fearful situation. While Ali is clearly the latter, I stock up on as many legal forms of protection as possible, and hide in the corner at any abnormal sound.
Regardless of your niche, it is important to take safety precautions â€” especially with CSU warning us about â€œunsubstantiated threats.â€
Outlined below is a personal anecdote on using safety equipment correctly.
My first accident in using safety equipment centers around a big bottle of bear spray that I keep perched on my bedside table. I always keep it within arms reach in the event my roommate decides she wants to cuddle up to me at night â€” or an attacker decides to break into our extremely safeguarded house.
This bear spray isnâ€™t just any sort of mace. It has a range up to 35 feet. I am aware of this, not simply because I can read the can, but because I tripped over it while it was on my floor. My foot landed perfectly on the trigger releasing a cloud of potent bear spray about my room.
For a moment I could not breathe, I could not see, I could not hear. My body was consumed in a cloud of red haze.
After I dialed my roommate to bring me a McFlurry to make my burning throat feel better, I thought it was best to call poison control.
In the event of a bear spray incident follow these instructions:
1. Call poison control before you call your roommate to bring you a McFlurry.
2. Take a shower to rinse off the residue.
3. Rinse the clothes you were wearing.
4. Open all windows in the room to air it out.
It is only after strictly following these guidelines that I was able to escape the wrath of an error in my own safety precaution: Do not leave bear spray lying on your floor.
Just because I am clumsy doesnâ€™t mean you have to be. Bear spray provides peace of mind. Itâ€™s calming to know you are carrying something that will protect you in case of certain emergency.
I forgot to mention another key fact: In the event of a bear attack, bear spray has you covered.
Thatâ€™s all for now, my lovely cherubs!
And no, I never did get that McFlurry.
Lydia Jorden is a sophomore business major, with a minor in â€œbear studies.â€ Her column runs Mondays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.