Itâ€™s 5 a.m. Monday morning and youâ€™ve awaken from a semi-conscious state, battling the lingering after-effects of a weekend spent having fun. You gaze over at your cell phone and notice your significant other has sent you several text messages, ranging from â€œLove youâ€ to â€œWhy havenâ€™t you called me back yet?,â€ when you suddenly remember that itâ€™s Valentine Day.
Now, before you start to hyperventilate, let the Collegian help you be a last-second Romeo. There are three ways you can handle this situation, which go as follows:
One: Run to the nearest convenience store and buy your dearly beloved a cheesy box of chocolates, a plastic rose or a new car battery. This tactic rarely works out, and if you try and pull this stunt youâ€™ll probably end up shooting yourself in the foot, figuratively or literally.
Two: Tell her you are planning a surprise dinner at a fancy restaurant and that she can be the classiest girl in town. This tactic can have its upsides; though taking her to the local McDonaldâ€™s or Sonic will probably put you further into the doghouse than the stunt above.
Three: If youâ€™re the creative type or know how to play any instrument at an elementary level, you can either make your lovely lady a beautiful â€“â€“ or at least acceptable â€“â€“ piece of art. You can also make up a two-bit love song if you at least somewhat comprehend the acoustic guitar. This stunt can pay off if youâ€™re the talented type. But if youâ€™re not a wordsmith, then donâ€™t expect her to take your attempts too seriously.
Though these ideas might sound convenient (and rather cheap) to you romantics out there, please, by all means, donâ€™t forget that Valentineâ€™s Day is a mere five days away. Donâ€™t be a cheapskate; actually do something nice for the ones that you at least respect and youâ€™ll find that your life â€“â€“ and possibly your V-Day â€“â€“ will get significantly better.
Staff writer Christopher Boan can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.