Feb 082011
Authors: Christopher Boan

It’s 5 a.m. Monday morning and you’ve awaken from a semi-conscious state, battling the lingering after-effects of a weekend spent having fun. You gaze over at your cell phone and notice your significant other has sent you several text messages, ranging from “Love you” to “Why haven’t you called me back yet?,” when you suddenly remember that it’s Valentine Day.

Now, before you start to hyperventilate, let the Collegian help you be a last-second Romeo. There are three ways you can handle this situation, which go as follows:

One: Run to the nearest convenience store and buy your dearly beloved a cheesy box of chocolates, a plastic rose or a new car battery. This tactic rarely works out, and if you try and pull this stunt you’ll probably end up shooting yourself in the foot, figuratively or literally.

Two: Tell her you are planning a surprise dinner at a fancy restaurant and that she can be the classiest girl in town. This tactic can have its upsides; though taking her to the local McDonald’s or Sonic will probably put you further into the doghouse than the stunt above.

Three: If you’re the creative type or know how to play any instrument at an elementary level, you can either make your lovely lady a beautiful –– or at least acceptable –– piece of art. You can also make up a two-bit love song if you at least somewhat comprehend the acoustic guitar. This stunt can pay off if you’re the talented type. But if you’re not a wordsmith, then don’t expect her to take your attempts too seriously.

Though these ideas might sound convenient (and rather cheap) to you romantics out there, please, by all means, don’t forget that Valentine’s Day is a mere five days away. Don’t be a cheapskate; actually do something nice for the ones that you at least respect and you’ll find that your life –– and possibly your V-Day –– will get significantly better.

Staff writer Christopher Boan can be reached at news@collegian.com.

 Posted by at 3:49 pm

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