Feb 072011
Authors: Anna Baldwin and Eugene Daniels

“Beware the ones that actually request the relationship to be secret.”

I’m just going to start with my opinion about why no relationship should be kept secret from your friends and family.

Or, for that matter, from the person that you claim to be in a relationship with. That could get awkward when your friends ask him about it, and he has no idea that he is on the path to a potential marriage.
Why hide the fact that you have found someone that you enjoy spending time with?

For those of you who weren’t privy to the fact that secret relationships happen more often than non-secret partnerships, then maybe you shouldn’t continue reading because you don’t need to hear the opposing argument.

Okay, so I definitely made up that statistic about how there are more secret relationships than not. But I was only trying to emphasize and bring to light the fact that they do exist, unfortunately.

Why all the secrecy? For some, it’s because you are ashamed that you’re with him. If you’re ashamed, there is clearly a different reason that you still see him. Like money, sex or awesome gifts that he buys you.

These are not good reasons to date someone. I hope I just didn’t tell you something you didn’t already know.
Another reason for secrecy is because your family or friends wouldn’t approve. Ultimately, you know what is best for yourself, but why are these people in your life feeling this way? There has to be a good reason so listen to them, and always consider what they have to say.

Secrecy also causes more stress than you need in your life, and it’s easily avoidable. Need I say more?

There’s nothing better than showing the world the person you’re with. And it’s also great having him programmed in your phone under his real name and not “Grandma,” which you would think fools everyone, but they catch on quickly.

One final thought: Beware the ones that actually request the relationship to be secret. He’s trying to hide you for more reasons than he’s willing to admit.

“… Always remember there is a difference between hiding your relationship and keeping it pure and away from prying eyes.”

Since we were children, we have always been told that secrets don’t make friends. You want to know who started that? It was a nosy-ass person who doesn’t know how to keep their minds out of other people’s business.

You know it’s true.

Nowadays, people are too concerned with what other people are doing in their lives, especially in their relationships. Why the hell do I have to tell you if I have a girlfriend or not?

So clearly, I think that if you are in a relationship, you should feel free not to have to divulge that information. It’s NOYDB classified! (That means “None of your damn business” for the slow folks).

The thing about relationships ­­— and I said the same thing about PDA — is people start to feel like they have to prove their love to the other person. They feel like simply loving and caring for that person isn’t enough. If you think like this, you have more issues and my name isn’t Dr. Phil so….

But always remember there is a difference between hiding your relationship and keeping it pure and away from prying eyes.

And here is the difference, if you see your significant other walking towards you on the plaza and you run faster than I would if Sarah Palin brought her hunting skills to Fort Collins, that’s hiding.
Keeping a relationship pure is very different.

If someone asks you if you are dating (insert name here), you can say “yes,” and leave it at that or shrug it off. That is not hiding or being ashamed of your relationship.

The biggest issue nowadays is jealous and bitter-ass people who have “Irreplaceable” by Beyoncé or “F You” by Cee-Lo Green as a ringtone. So they aren’t going to have your best interests at heart at all. And if you don’t know any of those people, then it is probably you and your nosy ass.

And when everything has to become Facebook official, it will get even worse. But I know one thing: When I’m in a relationship, it is a need-to-know basis. Try it. Then you won’t be the angry single asshole that ruins other people’s relationships.

Anna Baldwin is a senior journalism major and Eugene Daniels is a junior journalism major. Mars vs. Venus appears Tuesdays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to letters@collegian.com.

 Posted by at 3:19 pm

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