Nov 032010
Authors: Shane Rohleder

Burritos take you out of your body and on a journey to a faraway place that opens your eyes, clears your mind and frees your soul so that the universe can rush in and set you free of worry and doubt.

They are simple and elegant in every way, yet remain a great mystery. Many people don’t know how incredibly liberating they can be. The assortment of the proper flavors of meats, rices, beans and salsas, when done right, is a FoCo Halloween night right inside your mouth.

I eat at least one every day.

Wake up, and boom! I hit a breakfast burrito. If I’m on campus I buy a Consuelo burrito. I get the “spicy” of whatever they happen to have: pork, egg and potatoes. Or, the Spanish omelet. Or, the potatoes, egg and cheese, and usually I buy a small coffee from Cram A Latte in the Morgan Library to sear the spices inside my mouth with a thick taste of dark coffee.

The price of a small coffee and a Consuelo burrito comes to exactly $4.20. Coincidence? I think not.

If I’m at home I’ll crack two eggs, scramble them — sometimes I exclude the yoke because the cholesterol level is so high — then wrap them in a Mission restaurant style soft taco and burrito-sized flour tortilla, and add in a handful of cheese, layer it with a line of Chipotle Smoked Tabasco sauce, and in 20 minutes I’ve got a quick and easy start to a day sure to be full of burrito love.

I make a couple different versions of my own burritos for lunch, but if you don’t want to take the time to make them, just buy one from one of the many fine burrito establishments surrounding campus.

There is the Qdoba Mexican Grill on the corner of Shields and Elizabeth, which is a great option inbetween class. Easily accessed by long board, bike, scooter, pogo-stick or foot, it’s sure not to disappoint with burritos of epic size, lathered with an assortment of spices, corn, sour cream and filled with a protein boost of chicken or steak (or both if you pay the price).

You could journey northeast of the Oval to the Chipotle on the corner of College and Laurel. The Chipotle burrito needs no introduction, nor explanation. It lives within us, and I quote Braveheart, “Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.” Remember Chipotle when hunger wields its ugly head.

A good option if you’re willing to walk a little farther, and perhaps wait a little longer for your food is Las Salsitas Mexican Grill on the corner of College and University Avenues.

On Tuesday, and Thursdays they sell their well-sized, sloppy, and delicious burritos at half-price. I know, was there ever a place so generous? I think not.

Of course we can’t leave out Big City Burrito just south of Mulberry on College Avenue. It’s continually voted as having the best burrito in Fort Collins for its fresh ingredients, combination of larger-than-life salsas and tortillas of odd-ball shapes and flavors. On Tuesdays be sure to plan for lines out the door for their potato-burrito bargain.
If money is tight I suggest going to your favorite grocery store and buying a version of the following: beef, rice, beans, cheese, your favorite salsa, hot sauce (Chipotle Smoked is my favorite), guacamole and sour cream. Make a week’s supply and enjoy a burrito at home while watching your favorite television show (“East Bound and Down” is a great option).

I must warn you that adhering to a strict burrito diet has consequences, mainly intestinal.

I will tell you that fearing any repercussions of this sort are a cheap pathetic cop-out, and you’ll miss out on so much.

Burritos aren’t just a food; they’re a way of life. You must prepare yourself for the lifestyle of a burrito lover and make the necessary adaptive adjustments. If you’re new to the burrito lover’s lifestyle, I would Google “burritos are the best food ever,” and read the literature that comes up.

You might even want to invest in an “I Love Burritos” t-shirt and let the world know you’ve found something good on earth.

Shane Rohleder is a senior communication studies major. His column appears Thursdays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to

 Posted by at 3:01 pm

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.