Oct 112010
Authors: Anna Baldwin and Eugene Daniels

High heels can be magical for women

By Anna Baldwin

There are only so many shoes that can be worn with skirts, dresses, and leggings that look good. Boots, flats, flip-flops or other variations of sandals all suffice, but really, the one type of footwear that works better in all those situations is high heels.

Not only are they great for most clothing decisions, but they’re also quite magical for any woman. They can accentuate areas of the body that need highlighting, hide things that shouldn’t be seen, and help create an overall impression of professionalism for anyone who wears them.

Heels, stilettos, pumps, or whatever you call them, it is a fact that this type of shoe creates the illusion that your legs are longer, thinner and more toned. They also make the lower leg muscles look super defined and attractive. Almost giving the impression that you run miles everyday, and this is all without calve implants.

There could also be an argument that walking in heels actually strengthens the muscles in your legs. It’s like using the stair master machine at the gym. Come to think of it, has anyone ever thought about teaching an aerobics class for women while they wear stilettos?

This might seem hazardous, but if they keep it low key it would be beneficial for all –– a win-win situation –– because the participants would gain better muscles, but it would also teach them how to correctly walk in heels.

This brings me to my next point. There is a correct way to walk in heels, and most women aren’t tuned into this yet. Maybe practice within the comfort of your own home before you take it out on the streets. But no worries, if you fake it and have confidence, you can usually get away with it.

But don’t wear heels to class. There is a time and a place for this special footwear, and biology lecture is not one of them. I guess if you had a presentation or special event on campus, then it’s okay to wear heels, but limit it to two-inchers that your grandma would wear.

In addition to sexier-looking legs and butts, heels make a woman’s posture appear better, and this is also more attractive. Basically, the overall carriage of one’s being can be heightened by wearing heals.

And let’s not forget the important fact that men find those long, toned legs especially attractive. Enough said.

Three rules for high heel wear

By Eugene Daniels

High heels … high heels … high heels. Sorry I’m trying to rack my brain on what a male could possibly know about high heels. Nothing. OK, column over, see you next week.

Just kidding. While I don’t know much about the subject, I did talk to a bunch of guys to get some perspective.

Let me start by saying that men don’t generally care what you have on your feet. Whether they are sneakers, heels or bunions (okay I take the bunion part back, no one likes bunions).

Men are simple. Shoes are shoes and if you’re comfortable, then we couldn’t care less. They’re your feet, put whatever you want on them! (Except bunions, of course)

But ladies, there are also three rules you should abide by when wearing high heels.

If you are dating an Oompa Loompa who still has to ride the kiddie rides at Water World, choose your heels wisely. No guy, especially one with a Napoleon Complex, want a woman to tower over him.

The fact that they are probably already aware that they are part-hobbit should make you think twice about embarrassing them more by being taller than him.

Being short isn’t a bad thing but it does require special care from other people, such as the girlfriend when she decides what heels she wants to wear.

Another rule: If you’re a tall girl, you should probably not be wearing heels in the first place. I know you’re asking, “How do I know if I’m tall, oh wise Eugene?”

Well when you’re walking through the plaza and can see clear across to the Eddy Building without anyone blocking you’re view, you are tall as all hell. Accept it. Love it.

But ladies that are about 5’6 barefoot are probably going to be taller than a good amount of people and so putting on heels that make you 6’3 isn’t their best bet.

Tall girls are great but the giants they can turn into with heels on are best left in the Harry Potter books.

Lastly, if you don’t follow either of the rules above, ladies, follow this one. If you are going to wear high heels that show your toes, you must not have ugly feet.

And don’t lie to yourself and say your feet are pretty when you know they aren’t. You can know your feet are ugly by a couple of ways. If you looked down when you read “ugly feet” to check out yours, then it’s safe to say you may need to put on some Vans or Nikes.

Ugly feet are the worst possible thing to have when you are a girl because even though we don’t really care about the type of shoe, if we look down at your feet and they look like they belong in their own Stephen King novel called “The Claw,” it’s not a good look. And nobody wants to be seen out with the claw foot girl.

Anna Baldwin is a senior journalism major, and Eugene Daniels is a junior journalism major. “Mars vs. Venus” appears Tuesdays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to letters@collegian.com.

 Posted by at 3:40 pm

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