May 052010
Authors: Ryan Gibbons and Glen Pfeiffer

There it is. Another year wasted trying in vain to bring knowledge to the masses. Some of you out there walking around still don’t know what Twitter is or how people make money posting videos on YouTube. 

We have tried our best, but now we must go hibernate for the summer.

Just kidding. We love you readers. Those other morons that have never read this column are the ones missing out on things every week. What a sad, dull life it must be to never take the time to skim this column while you’re flipping to the sudoku.

If you’re reading this, congratulations. Don’t forget to leave your newspaper open to this page with this beautiful picture of us facing up for someone in the next class to read.

To stray just a bit off topic, we are concerned about you, dear readers. We rarely meet people in person who read this column, but every time Ryan’s sister comes home from the bars, she talks about people she’s met who read the column. 

We are afraid this means one of two things: Either she is schizophrenic or our readers are all alcoholics. We always did wonder about the type of people who still read print newspapers.

It’s been a busy year. This being our 61st column over two years, we decided we have officially run out of ideas. We also aren’t graduating but need the money we make from writing this to afford the rent for our cardboard box. 

So we’ll be writing next year as seniors, but it will probably be more of a celebrity gossip column rather than popular tech –– think Justin Bieber coverage. We love him more than our computers now. But if Bieber buys an iPad we’ll be sure to let you know.

During these last nine months we talked about a lot of things. We hit the pavement like it was hot, writing about get-rich-quick schemes and Google Voice. Soon we had started a Facebook fan page only to forget about it two months later. 

We introduced you to some YouTube channels and even gave our own 2 cents on the best methods for “tripping” at parties. We were the first to break the news on the iPad being purchased for all CSU students –– see the April 1 edition of the Collegian –– and gave awards to popular Google search terms.

One of us succumbed to FarmVille but has finally completed rehab, only to get addicted Halo Reach instead. 

Needless to say we covered a lot, and we had a lot of fun along the way. Hopefully you readers did as well. 

We would like to ask a favor in return. This summer, when you find yourself lounging in the pool thinking about the many wondrous aspects of technology, only to find yourself filled with questions and doubt, shoot us an e-mail. We are always looking for ideas to write about, and often we feel out of touch with what some of the computer illiterate out there would like to know about. So speak. Ni.

As for the next three months of our lives, were looking forward to some wonderful time off –– or at least one of us. Ryan will be spending two months in Europe doing a little studying in Spain and some sightseeing in France and Italy. 

But that’s nothing compared to Glen, who’s planning a healthy nine credits of summer classes. This is really good news for you because he might have the chance to write in the weekly summer issue of the Collegian, reaching out to all the freshmen at Preview. 

We’re both looking forward to some quality time in California this summer later on at a mutual friends lake house and plan on spending a day soaking up the Silicon Valley sun. 

Almost forgot; we’re both upgrade eligible for the fourth generation iPhone, so come this June we’ll be rocking the new hardware, which is almost exciting as the Justin Bieber concert we’re attending in July.

Columnists Ryan Gibbons and Glen Pfeiffer hope to see you tomorrow night takin’ it all off at the Plaza. Comments and questions go to

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