Letâ€™s get things straight here people. After much heated, yet silly, debate in our expansive, luxurious Collegian newsroom, weâ€™ve settled on the term â€œmobâ€ for the column.
Mafia, apparently, only refers to Sicilian organized crime. No no, you Irish arenâ€™t allowed. Or you Russians.
But for the sake of Top 5, and my sanity, weâ€™ll just call it â€œmob.â€
Trust me, itâ€™s not worth the screeching across cubicles and crying underneath the row of mid-90s Macintosh computers just for one silly headline.
Iâ€™m still mad though.
But anyway â€“â€“ deep breath â€“â€“ this is one of my favorite topic suggestions, which you can e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org (high-five for the great plug Johnny).
Maybe, if youâ€™re lucky, I might put your name in the paper if you send me a suggestion. But no promises.
1. â€˜The Godfather and The Godfather: Part IIâ€™
Yes, clearly these are different movies. Donâ€™t freak out, itâ€™s going to be OK.
These go together under one sub-headline for a couple reasons. One, thereâ€™s an alarming amount of good mob/mafia movies. Two, theyâ€™re a continuation of the same plot.
You could make the case that Godfather: Part III should also be in this section, but then I could make the case that youâ€™ve got sucky taste in movies.
If it werenâ€™t for the constant reference to â€œI made him an offer he couldnâ€™t refuse,â€ this movie would be perfect.
2. â€˜The Departedâ€™
More Martin Scorsese indeed.
This latest installment in the mobster genre, and one of Scorseseâ€™s finest, brings a new flavor from the cheeseballness of the standard â€œMickey Blue Eyes-typeâ€ movie.
A big plus, also, the movie single-handedly launched the career of the Boston band Dropkick Murphys â€“â€“ a personal Johnny favorite.
The cast, though most die off by the end of the flick, is littered with A-list actors.
And hey, if youâ€™re offended about the spoiler, you shouldâ€™ve seen it. Those who havenâ€™t, well, watch your backs because you might soon be sleepinâ€™ with the fishes.
JK. I love you all.
Eric Clapton never sounded so good. Well, actually, he always sounds good, but itâ€™s especially nice when accompanying a montage of dead gangsters.
Youâ€™ve got all the standard mafia actors: Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Paul Sorvino, Lorraine Bracco, Ray Liotta, etc. etc.
Oh, and donâ€™t forget about Scorsese again. Do we see a trend here with Scorsese flicks?
You know what trend we donâ€™t see? A successful acting career for Liotta after the mid-â€™90s. Ouch.
4. â€˜Road to Perditionâ€™
This oneâ€™s a Top Five dark horse.
I would be hard pressed to find someone whoâ€™d instinctively list Road to Perdition on the list of best mafia movies.
Most people fit mafia flims into three categories: â€œThe Godfatherâ€ generation, the â€œGoodfellasâ€ generation or those old, smoky â€˜50s flicks.
But this movie sneaks up with its cinematic excellence and acting genius. How dare they!?
And this is probably one of Paul Newmanâ€™s best films and definitely the last great one.
5. â€˜The Boondock Saintsâ€™
Donâ€™t hunt me down for this choice. Let me explain myself before you criticize.
Just because the protagonists in â€œThe Boondock Saintsâ€ arenâ€™t involved in the mafia, doesnâ€™t mean itâ€™s not a good flick.
Itâ€™s amazing this cult classic didnâ€™t receive high acclaims among movie critics because, by observation, this movieâ€™s one of our generationâ€™s favorites.
â€œName one thing youâ€™re gonna need this stupid f**king rope for.â€ A badass gangster movie is what, Sean Patrick Flanery.
You know, Iâ€™m lazy, so Iâ€™m just going to list these ones.
â€œA Bronx Taleâ€
These are here because Iâ€™m tired of all you people telling me how wrong I am when clearly Iâ€™m always right.
But constructive feedback is always welcome and appreciated (wink).
Entertainment Editor Johnny Hart was loved so much by the good people of CSU and Fort Collins that heâ€™ll be writing this column weekly now on Wednesdays. Letters and feedback can be sent to email@example.com.