Ever wanted to know if that special someone you moon over truly returns your affections?
Well, “He’s Just Not That Into You,” co-written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, is probably not the best book in the world to tell you if he does or not.
The collection of fake, advice-seeking letters from women serve to illustrate any point Behrendt wants to make, to a T.
These letters all have to do, in some way or another, with a man who is not fulfilling his end of the relationship, but the women just can’t recognize it.
Behrendt does his best to make the women realize what’s going wrong in their relationship, and Tuccillo adds a woman’s perspective to the end of each chapter.
However, for a book that claims to have the answers to your dating dilemmas, “He’s Just Not That Into You” seems to have some obvious problems. The aforementioned, repetitive letter format is only one example.
First, the book’s advice is incredibly old fashioned. For example, Behrendt seems to have this notion that if a man doesn’t do the asking and pursuing, the relationship has an almost non-existent chance of ever working.
And if a man is not asking and pursuing, then, obviously, he’s just not that into you.
All raging feminist sentiments aside here, this idea is incredibly unfair to shy men who don’t feel able to approach a girl right away. It would appear that Behrendt comes from a world where all men are outrageously confident.
Not only this, but as someone who has initiated a fair amount of happy and lasting relationships through her own initiative, I hereby vouch that this approach can work.
Second, this book pushes the whining threshold to the limit. Most people have enough to complain about themselves, not to mention having to listen to complaints from friends and family.
But the pages only contain complaints. Letter after letter of “I know he loves me, but … “ Then starts the spilling of some very head-over-heels guts.
Be warned, by the end of this book, you may feel like smacking the next person who comes to you with a problem or choose to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, depending on your disposition.
Third, it seems to have some glaringly obvious chapters, such as “He’s Just Not That Into You if He Disappears On You” or my personal favorite, “He’s Just Not That Into You if He Cheats On You.”
Hi, and welcome to dating 101. Really, if someone reading this book was unaware of these concepts before and actually deigned to take the (fill in the blank) back, you have far worse problems than this help book can fix. Men, this applies to you too.
How about some truly useful advice?
However, some kudos must be given where they are due.
This book does have a positive, “I am woman, hear me roar” vibe.
It constantly stresses the message that yes, you do in fact deserve to have everything you could possibly want in a man. Once again, dudes, this applies to you as well.
You should never doubt you are the smart, confident and beautiful person you are.
If nothing else, you could always pick this book up to remind yourself of that, if you really need it. For anything else though, it’s basically a bust.
Staff writer Savannah King can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.