A four-course meal: salad, appetizer, main course and dessert. That’s what the CSU club hockey team was treated to over the weekend — a delicious banquet, a stupendous supper and a taste bud-satisfying achievement that should rocket the Rams to the top of their division.
This past weekend, the Rams hosted the eight-team Western Classic Tournament and won it handily.
Waiter …Waiter …
I’d like to start with CU-Boulder’s D-3 team — light on the dressing and the effort. A game very similar to a salad, it was tasty and cold as the Rams won 14-1. Not too heavy.
The Buffs B-squad came up with only 23 shots and at times looked like they were more interested in the drive home than the massacre. And it was nice starting cuisine; it was good practice for the heartier food to come.
Nine Rams split the pipes, a great confidence accelerator and way to get ready for the following Colorado rival and next course on tap.
Excuse me, busboy, please tell our sever …
For my next participation in food consumption I’ll take some fried University of Northern Colorado with a side of hot sauce and few extra plates.
CSU received some supreme Bear nachos to gnaw on as their appetizer Friday evening. The game began just how nachos are meant to be eaten: hot, spicy and flavorful. But after the buzzer loudly rang out, the first period ended and the food got cold, stale and less than noteworthy.
In the second period, each team fell on their faces, started watching “Maury” on the bar’s oversized television while playing with their paper straw covers, and the company ended up being better than the dinner — same as the center of a mean nacho plate that’s being unfairly neglected.
The third, like the last morsel of nachos, was better. The end was delectable just like the final few chips without frigid cheese, but still plenty of guacamole, and the Rams finished off the pivotal game and the last bit of salsa, 6-3.
Now, the main course, good sir. Something exotic (as I lightly grasp my chin, thinking sinisterly).
I know it might be a frowned upon, maybe even illegal, but I want to have some blackened eagle with a large chance to get to the championship game on the side.
The most appetizing eagles come from Eastern Washington, and the Rams had their fill.
Wearing ridiculous red and white striped uniforms, the Eagles were chewy and tough, matching each CSU goal with a trip into the net of their own.
The bellies of the green and gold looked as if they were full. Allowance back into the game made it look as if Ram eyes were bigger than their tummies. But CSU sucked it up, drank some water, delivered some hard hits and piled all their veggies down their throats to win the game 6-4.
Now that we’ve scraped our plates clean, I think we’ll share the devil’s chocolate CU-Boulder pie that eluded us the last two times we’ve tried to consume the black and gold frozen treat.
The server brought it out — a mound of chocolaty goodness topped with yellow caramel, hemp flavored ice cream and finished off with an 0-2 record against the munchie overloaded last course of Buff.
Each Ram got a ladle full. Never losing the lead, CSU stood their frozen water on their home ice and finished off every last sweet tasting and yummy bite. Dessert was almost ruined, however, as it looked grim as the ice cream melted and CU-Boulder’s A-squad got a 5-on-3 advantage.
Except CSU goalie Mike Dlugos picked up his eating utensil, swallowed multiple shots and kept the Rams ahead as they took a 4-3 victory over their most hated, difficult and mouth-watering opponent.
After the Rams left the restaurant (tipping the wait staff heavily, of course) they could reflect on the buffet of quality competition currently settling in their small intestines.
Now that the horned hockey players have beaten CU, UNC and pesky Eastern Washington, the Rams should come out for the second half of their season ranked No. 1 in the western division of the American Collegiate Hockey Association.
Ending the first half of the season with this appeasing feast should have these guys plenty energized for when they restart the season Jan. 9.
If nothing else, they beat the Buffaloes, and that’s something at least worth having an after-dinner drink for.
Sports writer Keith Robertson can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.