Dear CSU: Please open campus up to a student-only goose season during Christmas break.
Wanted: Attractive female to help me repopulate following Zombie apocalypse. Must be comfortable with undead bodies, proficient with firearms and love cupcakes.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of the flu and mono.Yeah — only if you suck at it.
To whomever thought that a large brush was a good idea for snow removal: Thanks for buffing the ice to a nicely slippable shine.
To those who thought the first week in December was the perfect time to play HvZ: Missions postponed for snow? Who’da thunk?
Dear Colorado: Why must you be so cold? If you ever fall victim to global climate change, call me. Maybe we can be friends.