Dec 142009
 
Authors: Phil Lindeman

Everyone loves a trend. Whether that means we buy into them wholeheartedly or hate them with a passion, trends are here to stay in their own passing way.

Once December hits, some of the trendiest people on campus might be sitting right next to you, wearing a floppy, neon blue beanie, waiting for that weekend trip to Keystone where, every Saturday, the lift line is transformed into the hottest thing this side of the runways at Milan.

But there are probably a couple other, less obvious examples you might not be aware of, so I’ve taken the time to identify a few of the more colorful and prominent trends. You decide whether to love them or hate them.

The Tall Tee

These glamorized, over-sized items look exactly like your grandma’s favorite nightgown, minus the lace, making them one of the most disturbing and prevalent fashions to hit the slopes in years. In fact, they’ve completely replaced traditional outerwear altogether, and the longer the better, especially for skiers.

If you can hide the fact that knees exist beneath your triple layered, color-coordinated shirts, you’re on the right track. Toss a XXL Nuggets or Lakers jersey overtop and you might be one of the 40 other kids who looks ready to play a game of pickup between laps through the terrain park.

Luckily, the jersey phenomenon has been largely confined to basketball teams. However, I predict that in 2012, the Yankees/Red Sox feud will find its way onto the mountain. After all, the Mayans couldn’t predict every sign of the apocalypse.

The Dirtball

For some reason, skiers never try to pull off the Dirtball look, maybe out of self-respect, or maybe because boarders are naturally greasier, grimier people. But don’t let the Kyle Orton mustache paired with a polka dot Neff top and red flannel pants fool you.

The Dirtballs, no matter how toxic they may appear, cultivated their image. They have put countless hours into carefully constructing each mismatched outfit so that when you ride by them, you can’t help but take notice. Why else would they own Ray-Bans?

They’re also the people most likely to smoke in the gondola, beg for passes in the parking lot two hours before closing and get away with it all because, for some reason, they look legit. In the end, they aren’t bad people — just don’t compare their shaggy haircut to Shaun “The Flying Tomato” White’s or be prepared for a lengthy discussion on what it means to sell out.

DGAF

If you have no idea what DGAF stands for, you’ll either ask the person next to you or figure it out eventually. The DGAF is very similar to The Dirtball in appearance, habits and riding style.

The only difference: The DGAF really doesn’t give a blank, not only about how they look, but aboutlife in general. Google Nate Bozung if you need an example. His nickname in the snowboard community is “Boznuts.” Enough said.

Girl Jeans

This is basically an extension of the emo style that made Myspace so popular with narcissistic, mirror-gazing 15-year-olds a few years back. Luckily, by now, both the emo trend and Myspace have largely died out.

There are still a couple punk rock rebels out there riding 3-year-old Capita boards and listening to the Dead Kennedys, but they most likely emerged from the womb in pint-sized nut huggers. Again, skiers seem to be immune to this revealing trend, but it has less to do with their fashion-forward mindset and more to do with the fact they think they’re thugs.

Top-to-Bottom Patterns/ One-Piece Suits

A couple years back, some designer thought it would be interesting to create a line of jackets and pants that matched perfectly. That designer took stripes, dots, camouflage and weird leaf patterns and threw them on every piece of outerwear in sight.

686 clothing and Oakley took the idea one step further and actually produced solid, one-piece outfits. The result for 686 was The Gaper, a satire of mid-80’s retro awfulness (like a Katy Perry music video), while Oakley took a more fashionable approach with the quasi-serious lime green one-piece.

In the end, they all ended up looking like adult-sized footie pajamas. In fact, a lot of on-mountain fashion can be traced back to sleepwear. Think Scrooge McDuck in “Mickey’s Christmas Carol.” Fat, baggy beanie? Check. Knee-length nightie? Check. Strange crew of dirty, poor, yet fun-loving misfits? Check.

So, what’s the moral of the story?

Despite how important it may seem, fashion is fleeting. What was popular two years ago isn’t today, and what’s popular today might not be by the end of the season.

If you want to turn heads and silence the critics, then get up early, grab the first chair and be sure you can throw 720’s both ways. If you don’t know what that means, it really doesn’t matter. Just bundle up in whatever you have that is mildly waterproof and enjoy the winter, because that’s what we’re all here for anyway.

Happy riding, everyone.

Philip Lindeman is the Web Content Editor for College Avenue and can be reached at csumag@lamar.colostate.edu.

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