God’s gifts to mankind: alcohol, friends and Mario Kart 64.
To all my professors: Thank you for assigning me so much work that I can distinguish between new and old employees in the library; I didn’t want to have a life anyway.
To the barely conscious girl hanging out the car window with puke remnants down the side: It’s ok. We’ve all been there.
Thank goodness we spent $13 million on an indoor football field. Otherwise our team might have sucked.
Thanksgiving: proven to put back five of the freshman fifteen you already lost.
I’ve become a pro at avoiding the Greenpeace people on the Plaza, but they catch me off guard when they approach me at DIA.