You know your life sucks when you want to ditch class, but then you realize you have nothing better to do so you go anyway.
So I was at this party last night, and I started talking to this girl. Literally two minutes later, the cops came: The biggest cock block ever.
If we’re going to cut academic budgets while building athletic facilities, can’t we just use some of that money to buy a decent quarterback instead?
You know you may have a drinking problem when you try to get a beer at the ‘Skeller at 11 a.m., and they don’t serve beer until noon.
Hey football team: The only bowling you will be doing this December will be at Chipper Lanes.
To the skinny girl jogging around campus as I drive stuffing my face with McDonalds: Thank you for making me feel like a tub of lard in under five seconds.