Sep 162009
Authors: Laura James

Opening last weekend, the slasher flick “Sorority Row,” a remake of the 1983 classic “The House on Sorority Row,” was surprisingly satisfactory. Thanks to an interesting mash-up of casting decisions, the characters of “Sorority Row” paint themselves as vindictive, petty and rude.

The sisters of Theta Pi, a fictional sorority, live by the motto trust, respect, honor, secrecy and solidarity. But in reality, these sisters mostly just keep secrets.

After finding out one of the sister’s boyfriend has been wandering too far from the porch, the Theta Pi women decide to pull a revenge prank, in which, of course, the practical joke goes horribly wrong resulting in the violent death of one of their sisters.

The sisters predictably cover up the murder and decide to take their secret “to the grave.”

After eight months of “silence,” the token drunk, Chugs, spills to her therapist, all the while the most evil of the bunch, Jessica, tells her son-of-a-senator boyfriend. As graduation night ensues, the terror begins.

While having a raging party at the sorority house, each character in “Sorority Row” finds herself brutally murdered while touting off classic one liners like, “I puked, but I had mint, so you’re OK” and “Cheers to you, slut.”

So, who could be the black hooded serial killer picking off the accidental murderers one by one with a “pimped-out tire iron?” You have to see it to figure it out. But if you don’t, don’t worry, there’s bound to be a sequel.

Movie reviewer Laura James can be reached at

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