America’s new epidemic

Sep 072009
Authors: Josh Phillips

There is a new plague that is spreading across America, and it’s not H1N1, despite what crazy yokels at the tiptop of the media machine will tell you. In fact, this plague seems to be most prominent on college campuses everywhere, and only a certain demographic is reeling from its disastrous symptoms.

The worst part about this new epidemic is that it is constantly propagated by those who are actually carrying it; a new generation of Typhoid Marys, if you will.

The instigators of this new outbreak, which I will reveal shortly, are reaping benefits from its existence while others are suffering the consequences of their illness. Some are attempting to implement a cure, but it seems that this effort may very well be futile since those who have fallen ill are in control of the clinics that are desperate to heal the masses.

Recently, I came across a few people on Colorado State’s campus who have succumbed to this disorder, and I could feel nothing but pity for them as they attempted to reel me in to the near-irreversible ailment.

How am I sure that they are among the afflicted, you ask? After only a few moments of discourse with these invalids, it was apparent that they, too, were suffering the effects of this self-inflicted condition.

What is this terrible disease, this horrible malady that has struck our country with its viral transmission and pathogenic nature? Strangely enough, there is no professional diagnosis in the medical field or psychological field, but I will do my best to describe its symptoms and perhaps even offer a name for this disorder.

The most obvious symptom is the impetuous need to dispute any of America’s policies or its actions at home and abroad, regardless of their intended nature or their actual consequences.

Other symptoms may include, but are not limited to, incessantly voicing these disputes to friends, family and strangers, deriding others who identify themselves as “patriotic,” coughing loudly when a dissenting opinion is heard, threatening to emigrate to a distant foreign country and dropping to one’s knees in praise of Obama’s behavior.

So what to name this newfound pandemic? I think the most appropriate name is something along the lines of Self-Deprecation Nation. But if you’d like to shed its pomp and formality, we can simply call it self-loathing or just plain anti-Americanism.

Regardless of what we call it, the issue still remains — this welcoming of blatant anti-Americanism into America itself can in no way be hailed as healthy, natural or “progressive.” The sad fact is that most of the people who spout these views are famously labeled as progressives, when nothing could be further from the truth.

Now, I understand that self-criticism can be natural and healthy. In fact, I fully believe that a country is doomed to destruction if it cannot examine its own conduct.

But when a country’s populace is so overwhelmingly determined in breeding its own failure such that any mention of the state’s actions will be met with constant friction, then perhaps it isn’t examining its own conduct well enough.

Who is to blame for this crushing anti-Americanism that is so rampant in our great country? Unfortunately, it’s all too obvious that our excruciatingly skewed media is to blame for what I prefer to label as the “Great Brainwashing of America.” And who does the media predominantly support in its political endeavors?

You guessed it, the Democratic Party and other liberal organizations. I could spend days questioning why the Democratic Party turned from a greatly patriotic party to an incriminating, selfish party that devoted itself solely to the destruction of George W. Bush’s reputation. But I won’t, because it’s not healthy and offers no solutions.

But honestly, I’m not into placing blame and pointing fingers. My main concern with our country is that it has a morbid inability to offer solutions – instead, we want to know whom we can sue because we want to play the victim.

Which is only natural, since “progressive” judges have offered incentives to play the victim in the past 50 years, and if there’s anything I’ve learned from my economics classes at CSU, it’s that people respond to incentives.

Josh Phillips is a senior business administration major. His column appears Tuesdays in the Collegian. Letters and feedback can be sent to

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