To the guy with a “May I suggest this sausage?” T-shirt and the finger pointing at your crotch: Do you understand that your shirt inhibits your sausage from getting any attention at all?
Don’t forget to bring extra deodorant to hand out when you go to Boulder Sunday.
Graduating in four years is overrated. It’s like leaving a party at 10 p.m.
To the girls in Westfall complaining about having to walk to classes during winter: Welcome to Colorado.
Dear CSU: If professors were cut and student enrollment went up, then why again did our tuition increase?
Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a village of tree houses and bridges connecting them in the Oval?
When I walk through the Plaza and people ask “for a moment of my time,” I like to point to my headphones with my middle finger. About half of them notice.