Thanks, CSU, for being “green.” You give bikers the finger by giving us no sheltered bike racks while you build parking structures where cars will stay dry. How encouraging!
Finish the jingle: “The best, part, of waking up, is … ”
To the owner of the kids playing hide and seek in the basement of the library: It’s not a playground. Get a baby sitter.
To the person giving props to the guy who put the champagne bottle in the lost and found … yeah. That was my Geology teacher … he’s weird …
To my roommate upstairs: If you don’t have the money for a can of WD-40, I will gladly pay for it in exchange for a good night’s sleep. Squeak, squeak, squeak.
If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lighting, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
Being highly reliant on drinking Red Bull during finals week has turned my urine the color of Shrek’s.
To the couple making out at the light at College Ave.: A green light means proceed to the nearest dorm room.