To the sun: Thank you for getting all those hot guys to run outside without their shirts on.
To the car that threw an egg at my windshield the other day: Grow up. We’re in college now. We throw beer cans.
After seeing a bike cop chase down someone going 2xWalking speed, and a car chase down someone going 2.5x, I am forced to wonder if a helecopter-led pursuit team is required to chase someone going 4x walking speed.
Can someone explain to me how flooding the plaza with water fits into the whole go-green thing?
To the girl loudly singing “Happy Birthday” to her friend in the library at midnight: All you did for your friend is make everyone in the library hate her. On her birthday. Good job.
To the student who complained about dodging cars on the way to class: Try walking on the side versus the middle of the road. That way, we can all get to class on time.
Props to whoever put a champagne bottle in the lost and found bin in Plant Science 100.