Apr 142009
Authors: Compiled Nina Beitz

To all the girls wearing mini-skirts: If you’re not gonna sell it, and you’re not gonna give it away, don’t advertise it.

Isn’t it a waste of perfectly good man when you find a hot one that is balding at 20? Tragic.

When I lost my weed in the Summit parking lot I looked non-stop for a good week hoping to find it. I can’t say I ever expected to find just my empty jar a month later in the bushes. You’re welcome, whoever found it.

Interesting correlation: Boulder Beer is the Kroger version of New Belgium and CU is the Kroger version of CSU.

How come no matter where you go on campus the boys never get more attractive?

To the person blaming Obama for rising gas prices: I dont know what year you are, or if you are even a college student, but OPEC determines the gas prices. Put down your “Life of Sarah Palin” biography and pick up an Economics 101 book, please.

To the girl against short-shorts: Don’t rain on everyone’s parade just because shorts that are the width of your thighs are called capris.

Things it’s hard to look manly doing: putting on chapstick and eating muffins.

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