Is it a coincidence that my attendance in my statistics class is indirectly proportional to the amount of beer in my fridge?
Apparently the “Save the Children” guys on the Plaza don’t appreciate dead baby jokes. Go figure.
To the girl I slept with in October: I thought you said you’d been tested.
A brief rendition of Obama haters. Ahem. “Obama this, Obama that, Obama hit me with a stimulus pack.” Thank you.
Every time I need to use the women’s restroom in the Chemistry building I make sure to go twice. So I can use both of the toilets that are in the same stall.
Instead of CSU spending all of our tuition money on sculptures, why don’t they spend it on something more practical like a playground?
To the person I saw on campus with MY bike … I know what you did last summer.
OK, today I got free Monster drinks, scored two fortune cookies in ONE package and then got loaded with five different condoms. If I don’t get laid tonight, I don’t know if I ever will.