Feb 082009
Authors: Compiled Nina Beitz

Hey Andrew Woods, do you have a panda hat fetish too? I thought I was the only one.

It’s always nice to see you have a full fridge, until you realize none of the food is yours.

Am I the only virgin in my psychology of human sexuality class?

To the chemistry teachers: The technology in graphing calculators exists for a reason.

To the drunk kid who punched out the window in the Sundance sober van: I remember my first beer.

To the guy whose license plate reads ‘BACK OFF’: you don’t need the plate to keep the ladies away!

I would rather be straight-edge, clean-shaven, and a virgin until age fifty than be somebody who has “git-r-dun” in their vernacular.

This country has given Obama the Oscar and the movie has yet to be written.

To the girls who have a boyfriend in a different area code … you know the man-law about area codes right?

To the guy wearing those capri sweat pants that bunch up mid-calf… I don’t think men are the target market for that style.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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