Why is it that every time I get stoned at work, a cop comes in to get food?
I now know what it means to quit smoking ‘cold’ turkey: I can’t even last outside long enough to finish a cigarette!
To all you boys out there upset at being “cock blocked” by Edward Cullen: Wise up and read the books cause he’s obviously doing something you’re not. And he’s a fictional character.
Ah, the first real snow of the season, when all of the sorostitutes find out that Uggs aren’t waterproof. Heh heh.
To the guys who stomped PENIS in the snow outside Newsom, did you write this in public because you aren’t getting any privately or because you’re compensating by writing it in big letters? Grow up.
You know you have had a rough night when you pass out before DP Dough is delivered to you.
You start to realize that you are pathetic and college is not fun anymore when the library kicks you out at one in the morning on a Friday night and the only person you have talked to all day is a creepy old man walking around the library looking maybe as lonely as you. Except at least he’s done with college, hopefully.