Dear fellow wallowing and angry CSU students:
We all have life problems. Whether it’s the stress of finals, boyfriend or girlfriend troubles or RamTalk drama, we’ve all got ’em.
That’s why I’m here. I want to help you out — help you through your tough times and maybe even help you see the humorous side of the most seemingly horrible situations.
You will have problems in the upcoming year and you will need a shoulder to lean on when all your friends and family abandon you, and you find yourself alone and crying in your apartment, or, even worse, in your dorm room.
But don’t worry, Cece is here.
You may find yourself frantically sending e-mails to firstname.lastname@example.org, seeking help from your trustworthy Collegian advice columnist.
And I will always be there for you, CSU.
When tuition prices rise or your favorite dining hall closes down, when your boyfriend cheats on you with your roommate or your pet runs away, I’ll be there.
I may be young, and my views may differ from yours, but I think we can all find common ground during those times when life just sucks, and not even chocolate or booze can make it better.
But Cece can make it better.
So forget about running away to a remote island village, or locking your doors and drowning out the world with heavy metal.
Just write in to me, Cece, and I’ll do my best to help you find your sanity in this crazy college life.
Entertainment Editor Cece Wildeman can be reached at email@example.com.