May 072008
Authors: Chris Yonker

(U-Wire)- Kids, go ahead and waste your youth, but leave the electoral process out of it.

For years, the youth of America were satisfied with their music videos and their caffeinated soft drinks. Politics never made it to the roundtable discussions amidst rounds of Mario Kart.

Perhaps drunk on the power of electing their favorite American Idol, today’s youth are elevating elders’ eyebrows because of their political activity.

The 2008 Iowa caucuses tripled the number of participants aged 18 to 29 from the 2004 caucus.

The majority (57 percent) of these whippersnappers voted for Barack Obama.

But a kid with a vote is a lot like an elephant with a snorkel – no one knows how he got it, and they’re danged if he knows how to use it.

Actually, we do know how 18 to 20 year olds received the right to vote.

The same old malarkey you hear today along the lines of “being old enough to die for your country means you’re old enough to drink a beer” was being used decades ago. Just replace drinking with voting and you’ve got yourself the 26th Amendment.

Today, 18-year-olds are mucking up the whole system with their can-do attitude. See, they are new to the political arena and still have all that misplaced idealism instilled by today’s liberal teachers.

I told you once the schools started teaching evolution we’d be in trouble.

The teachers are filling our kids’ heads with nonsense, telling them they can change the world. Teachers spend all day talking about daydreamers like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, so how can we expect students to have a realistic view of the world?

For goodness’ sake, if we don’t put a stop to this unbridled optimism, the kids might actually do it. They could change the world. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me want to puke.

A nation where everybody has access to health care, broadband Internet and abortions as far as the eye can see. Can you imagine such a despicable place? I used to think liberals were being horribly unpatriotic when they said they would move to Canada after George W. Bush was elected. Now I get it. If I had to live in a world controlled by youth, I’d be on the first ship to Mars.

The youth know nothing of our status quo and honorable institutions. If they are in charge, will our tax collectors continue collecting? Will our bureaucrats be able to keep bureaucratting? What an inhospitable place this nation would be without them. Nobody pinching pennies or pushing paper – pure pandemonium.

Life was so much simpler when kids had the right to vote but never used it. We gave the kids a false sense of power and fulfilling their part of the bargain, the kids scoffed at our grown-up system and considered political apathy part of their teenage rebellion.

If this recent bout of enthusiasm from young voters is not just a fad, it’s the little things I’ll miss the most.

Saddling students with huge tuition hikes used to bring me such joy.

But more importantly, I’ll miss the rumors about the draft starting up again. With political clout, suggesting only 18- to 25-year-olds go fight a war would be similar to singling out a single race – social and political suicide.

Inevitably, youngsters involved in politics will become jaded and predictable.

If we put up with these exuberant 20-somethings for a few more years, we’ll have an even bigger stock of disillusioned 30-somethings who, by then, will have seen the world for what it is and vote the way they’re supposed to.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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