Mar 292007
Authors: Matt Wernsman

BREAKING NEWS: Angie Paccione opens a bunny refuge and is wearing a green t-shirt today! Marilyn Musgrave seen eating infant children and worshiping Satan!

If there has ever been a reputable organization to speak on behalf of “checks and balances,” it is undoubtedly the Collegian opinion section. Thankfully, this publication has been able to hoard-off other nasty radicals (like Independents!) and strictly provide CSU students with daily doses of Liberal gospel.

The Collegian is comically dedicated toward undermining all Republican principles, values, and party leaders. Many of the editorial board’s opinions would be better accepted if written in Crayola Crayons followed by a game of peek-a-boo; at least then students could understand the thought process many of the Collegian’s writers are attributed too.

The people – or person – in charge of writing the opinion section that represents the “Voice of CSU Students” is not qualified to write the lunch menu at a local grade school. With such provocative insights that parallel “Republicans are so stupid,” the Collegian opinion editors provide me with doubt to them walking and chewing gum simultaneously.

The Collegian must bring in more conservative voices to its op-ed section. OK, I know that’s a big step. Let’s start small and maybe find someone who’s leaning toward Obama but could still vote for that witch Hillary (For my Republican buddies out there, just play with the first letter of ‘witch’ till you find one you like.) See! We’re already building bridges and adding some much needed diversity to your opinion section.

Matt Wernsman



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