RamTalk

I can never afford to pay my plethora of parking tickets. Can’t I have the option of receiving one lashing for every five dollars that I have to pay? Life would be simple. You park wrong, you get whipped.

You know its cold out when: A) Your breath casts its own shadow or B) When the kids from Minnesota are saying, “It’s kind of cold out, doncha know?”

I thought the gender roles were broken… why didn’t any beautiful women shower me with gifts for V-Day? How come no girls picked me up for a date, flowers in hand, and paid for my dinner?

This time of year is a lonely time for me, but I am too addicted to video games to do anything about it. Any girls out there interested in coming over and playing with my Wii as a first date?

O geese of Canada, how I despise thee. Why doth thy multitudes foul the sidewalk without abandon? I shall raise my fist in ire!

College students just don’t have enough thyme.