(Note: As a tribute to visionary satirists like DJ Gallo and the Onion, I will be writing about the fake news whenever it fake happens. Remember, all quotes and stories are totally made up and fake, so please don’t call the paper with a complaint. Unless it is a fake complaint, then I guess that might be kind of funny.)
According to Hammerschmidt, who spoke to reporters Thursday about the discovery, he was in his office looking over the one-page playbook when he reached for the phone and knocked the page of plays off his desk.
“The playbook floated to the ground and turned over and there it was,” Hammerschmidt said. “It was the weirdest thing. I mean, I knew there was writing on the front of the playbook, but who could have imagined that there would be plays on the back as well? Crazy.”
Hammerschmidt said that the new “back of the page” plays should really help to open up the offense that some in Ram nation have criticized as being predictable and unimaginative.
“Yea, there is this one play where we swing Ohaeri out and throw him the ball in a sort of quasi-bubble screen. If I had to guess I would say that we are going to run that one a lot,” Hammerschmidt said.
Hammerschmidt also talked about the new set of plays opening up the running game that has struggled throughout the season.
“The running backs have really taken a liking to this new set of plays,” Hammerschmidt said. “Instead of them running up to the line, slamming into the guard and falling down like they have been, now we have got a play where they run up to the line, slam into the tackle and fall down. It should really keep TCU’s linebackers honest.”
Others, like quarterback Caleb Hanie, aren’t so sure about the new set of plays.
“To my knowledge it’s the same guy that is going to be calling these ‘new plays’,” Hanie said,” so there is a good chance that we will run the same ‘running back bubble-screen’ play ten times in a row. But who knows. Maybe he found a page of plays that, you know, actually work.”