Spending the last week and a half in a school induced coma, I have been a little out of the sports scene. So, here are some of the thoughts from the past ten days that have gone tragically unblogged (you bet that’s a word, don’t even bother looking it up).
Sitting in class surfing the web (yea I am one of the five winners who brings their laptop to their giant Clark classes) I came across the headline: “San Francisco Looks to Santa Clara, LA for New Site”. Freeze. What? NO, it can’t be! The Niners, my team, the only team that I can say that I have been a fan of for my entire life, is MOVING? This is horrible! What am I going to do?
Sports Illustrated didn’t say much else in their article so I went over to espn.com for more. At this point I’m just about in full on panic mode. My heart is racing, I’m starting to sweat, I’m mumbling to myself like a crazy person, the whole nine yards. Luckily for me and for the people sitting within punching distance of me the ESPN article added some tidbits that SI had chosen to omit.
First, they are probably going to Santa Clara, which is only about 30 miles south of downtown San Fran. Second, they are keeping their complete name, the San Francisco 49ers. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not happy that they are leaving beautiful Candlestick Point, but I can understand it. The city of San Fran is refusing to help them pay for a much needed new stadium and renovations on Candlestick would burn up all the excess cash that they will need to wildly overpay their next first round draft pick.
Will I catch shit from my roommate who, after three semesters of me making every possible Notre Dame (his team) joke I can think of, has been just waiting for something like this to happen? Absolutely. I am just glad that he won’t be able to call them the LA 49ers.
The whole thing, scary as it was, really got me thinking. What would have happened to the 49er faithful, all 250 of us, if they had gone to LA and changed their name? I could no longer be a fan, I hate LA. So what is the protocol? I never realized how brutal it must have been for people in Houston when the Oilers split for Tennessee. Even when they got the Texans, it still wouldn’t be the same. So the answer is, I don’t know. I plan to write the rules of choosing and staying loyal to a team later on in the year (as I see them), but what does one do in a situation like this?
If you’re me, you panic.
OJ Simpson is set to come out with a new book called “If I did it, this is how it would have happened” detailing how he would have committed double murder (I wish I was making this up). Let’s just hope that the book doesn’t have any kind of success, because we could run into a bunch of these quasi confessionals hitting the market. I envision a Barnes and Noble shelf stocked with things like “Barry Bonds: Just pretending that I used ‘roids, these are the people I don’t recommend you get them from (—- you Victor Conte)” and “Phil Mikelson: If I had, and this is just speculation here, let myself go and gained 200 pounds, this is the wonderbra I would hypothetically endorse and use. Forward by Andy Reid”
Chad Johnson is still funny. He had me worried with the blond Mohawk thing, but he made it all up with the Shawne Merriman celebration dance impression. It was spot-on. But he did miss a golden opportunity when he didn’t use the ball as a syringe.
Jake Plummer still sucks. ‘Nuff said.
It’s official. Trade in your used, can’t-make-an-important-field-goal-to-save-my-life Jason Smith for the slightly taller, can’t-make-a-three-but-I-still-love-to-try-because-my-coach-doesn’t-care-and-I-still-rule-no-matter-what Jason Smith. I really can’t think of much of a reason to get excited about the next two football games for good ol’ CSU. It’s probably a good thing that I am headed home for Thanksgiving and get to watch the Beavers kick the crap out of the Ducks in the Civil War (I have tickets to the biggest rivalry game on the West Coast. Life is good). If I had to stick around and watch the Rams play TCU I may commit my first homicide. And it’s pretty tough to give you the hard-hitting analysis behind eight inches of concrete and metal barred doors. So nobody would win.
Even though we dropped the ball against Baylor late and missed out on the chance to play Gonzaga and then (long shot) the Tarheels, I was relatively encouraged by our performance in the Preseason-NIT. I mean, normally “The Road Warrior” Layer leads us to embarrassing losses outside the confines of Moby, and this time we only lost by 6 in double-OT. You see, you surround yourself with enough talent and things don’t look half bad. It worked for Bill Parcels for years. (This just in: after I wrote this blurb we proceeded to lose to Rice. So, um, about that being relatively encouraged thing, yea, um, sorry?)
Check back tomorrow for all the fake news that’s fit to print online. If I don’t catch you there, have a good break. I know I will (Go Beavs!).