If you happen to find yourself with some time on your hands and nothing better to do with your life, I highly suggest taking a few minutes out of your day to browse through the “Best of Craigslist” section on Craigslist.org. I can promise that you will either have a good laugh or just walk away silently with the question “why on earth did this person post this?”
With titles like “To the guy who crapped in my parking stall last night.” and “Rant: Cereal” how can you possibly pass up the opportunity to hear someone else’s internal daily dilemmas? After all, that’s why you read columns, right?
My personal favorite is a posting from October 4, 2006 titled “Wake up and smell the Cosmopolitan,” which can best be described as a 695-word whine fest coming from a woman who is tired of being overshadowed by her blond bombshell of a friend when they go out to the bars.
Honestly, I chucked a bit at the posting, particularly when she began describing how most of the guys that approach her friend don’t have a chance in the world and would be much better with her, the poster. I see this almost as a desperate cry for attention, so desperate that she is reaching out to total strangers on the Internet, who truly and utterly could care less.
Now what exactly runs through a person’s mind when they formulate a posting like this? Are they seeking attention, or do they think their cry for help will reach someone and they will be found by a handsome prince, Internet guru he may be, who will respond to their anonymous posting, and together they will live a life of internet-inspired harmony.
Craigslist is technically a classifieds list full of cars and musical instruments for sale. A classified ad is the last place on earth I would think of to be the right place to vent my frustration, maybe because at 10 cents a word, $69.50 is just not worth it.
Yet still, everyday more random postings like this one go up on Craigslist – so many that there is an entire section dedicated to personals with subheadings like “Misc. Romance” and “Missed Connections.”
Next time I meet a cute guy while in line at Sweet Sinsations, Craigslist is the first place I’m going to check in hopes that he, too, is looking for me and has chosen to show his interest via a posting titled “Sweet Sinsations: Brunette.” If that doesn’t work, I will start posting obscure references of our meeting in RamTalk in hopes that he not only reads it, but also chooses to respond.
Lastly, when that method of contacting him doesn’t happen to be effective, my last ditch effort will be taking up chalking the plaza in hopes to reconnect with my possible lost love.
All of these options seem wholeheartedly more efficient at contacting the object of my heart’s desires than the genuine possibility of actually talking to him. Maybe saying hello, starting up a little bit of small talk, or maybe even taking the drastic step of exchanging phone numbers.
Maybe “missed connections” on Craigslist works. Maybe after last week’s Ram Talk request for the boy down the block to come crawling through a window, there was an outburst of chivalry followed by an uncorrelated rise in arrest of prowlers.
Honestly, I don’t know, and I suppose you have to take whatever path suits you best on the quest for your heart’s desire.
When you think about it, you might want to sit back and realize that if you stopped staring and actually said hello, you wouldn’t have “missed that connection” and you wouldn’t be sitting home alone and lonely trying to find them.
Rejection is truly the worst that can happen, and then maybe you’ll have something worthwhile to post on Craigslist. I even suggest you to list your heartbreak under the category “barter” or “wanted” in hopes that maybe some other forlorn lover is contemplating his or her options.
Sometimes you have to take the risk, and sometimes it’s not as bad as you expect.
Anne Farrell is a junior technical journalism major. Her column appears every Thursday in the Collegian. Feedback and replies can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.