So Halloween snuck up on you like a goblin or ghoulie this year, eh? But you still want to go out in costume so you don’t feel like a tool. Don’t fear. Here are five fast, cheap and easy costumes that you can whip together with stuff from your house or buy at any discount store:
Find a striped, button-up shirt. Steal your roommate’s if you don’t have one – you are going to be a pirate so you might as well start pillaging now. Don’t button most of the buttons, roll up the sleeves and buckle a belt around the outside. Cut off the bottom of an old pair of pants or shorts in a zig-zaggedy fashion and tie a bandana around your head.
High school gym teacher:
Throw on your workout gear, but add a whistle and/or a clipboard and remind everyone who sees you of high school P.E. class – scary!
Beer pong table:
This requires a little more work, but the results are sure to satisfy. Gather a t-shirt (green if you feel like being really authentic), plastic cups, white tape and self-stick Velcro. Stick a strip of tape from the center of the neckline to the hem of the shirt. You can do this on the front or the back, but choosing the front will back it easier to lean back in chairs. Next, tape a line horizontally halfway between the neck and the hem. Stick pieces of Velcro to the bottom of the cups. You can use 20, 12 or six cups depending on how big you and your shirt are. Now arrange the cups beer-pong style by sticking the opposite piece of Velcro where you want to put the cup. Bonus points if you actually lie down and let people play with you.
Dress up in your Sunday best. If you are a Democrat, crack up your friends by wearing a red tie and say you are a Republican. If you are a Republican, scare your friends by wearing a blue tie and say you are a Democrat.
This is always funny – you really can’t go wrong when you bend gender rules.
Cut wings out of a piece of poster board. Fold the board in half and draw a “B” shape with the back against the fold. Cut it out and staple them to the back of a T-shirt. You can write “Beer Fairy” on the shirt with a Sharpie if you want to. Make a skirt with a piece of string long enough to tie around your waist, threaded through the tabs of empty beer cans. Carry a case of ‘Stones and keep your friends well supplied. Wear a tiara if you want to be really festive.
Stop showering from now until Nov. 1. On Halloween, put on your rattiest jeans, brightly colored T-shirt and sandals. If you can find a CU T-shirt to wear, even better.
If all else fails:
Scribble “Funky Love Machine” on a piece of paper and tape it to your shirt. I’ve seen it work.
Multimedia managing editor Kate Dzintars can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The opinions expressed in this article reflect the views of the individual author and not necessarily those of the Collegian.