So all my life I thought there was cotton in peanut butter, just like my oldest brother told me when I was 7. Last Easter I found out that this was a lie, but yesterday I was reading the ingredients in peanut butter, and guess what? There really is cotton in peanut butter!
Dear God, please disregard that last person. They’ve been bad this year. I’ve been good. Bring on all the snow and cold you please. Amen.
I keep seeing signs around campus for “Free Chair Massages” in the Wellness Center. That is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. Why would anyone want to massage a chair?
To the guy who I accidentally hit in the face with a snowball: Sorry about that. I was aiming at your CU sweatshirt that you accidentally wore that day. But hey, if you’re a CU fan, you’re used to bad throws, so it works out.
I’m predicting a lot of purple toes in the near future as chronic flip-flop wearers refuse to wear real shoes, even when shuffling through the snow-covered campus.