Sep 132006
Authors: Jeff Schwartz

All of Hitchcock’s best films possess a delightfully wicked sense of humor, and the master himself was no slouch either when it came to delivering a pithy comeback or a caustic remark.

“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”

“Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.”

“Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.”

“When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, ‘It’s in the script.’ If he says, ‘But what’s my motivation?’ I say, ‘Your salary.'”

“I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.”

“Disney has the best casting. If he doesn’t like an actor he just tears him up.”

Staff writer Jeff Schwartz can be reached at


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