(U-WIRE) RENO, Nev. – We’ve all been there. You’re settling onto the couch with a bowl of Easy Mac, ready to watch TV, when you hear your roommate doing the nasty. Not only is it gross, since you’ve seen your roommate’s boyfriend, but the noises coming from the room are slightly disturbing. You turn up the TV thinking it will drown them out, only to realize that you can’t even enjoy your TV or Easy Mac any longer. In the end you are the one who ends up leaving while they get to enjoy themselves in your apartment.
Or you’re living in the dorms and coming back from class at 3 in the afternoon and can’t wait to take a nap. You open the door to find an ass in your face with your roommate beneath. Chaos ensues, naked bodies are running everywhere, and you’re the one missing out on your nap.
This tends to happen a lot since the majority of us share apartments or rooms.
It’s not that your roommate is purposely trying to gross you out or brag that they’re having sex and you’re not. It’s just that there’s this slight inconvenience of having a roommate, and we like to completely ignore it in the heat of the moment. We have a choice to stop the passion right when we want it most – or screw what the roommate hears and continue. They’ll forget about it tomorrow.
It sounds like a great idea until your bitter roommate drops hints about it for not only weeks, but years down the road.
So unless you want to live with the shame that you humped someone while in the same room as another being, follow these guidelines and you should be okay.
As asleep as your roommates may seem, they are not. Even if they are, they will wake up. Imagine waking up to the sound of your roommate humping. No thank you.
While bunking your beds might seem like a good space-saving move for those tiny dorms, think about how you can feel your roommate turn over in the middle of the night. Now visualize the sweet motions of sensual lovemaking.
The old “tie something to the doorknob” trick works. Better yet, shoot your roommate a text message – that way they can plan on not being able to get in their room for another 20 minutes.
Lock the door; you’d be surprised how much extra time that buys you and your partner.
As quiet as you think you are, you’re not. While I don’t enjoy promoting being quiet during sex (since nothing is better than being able to express yourself), it is better to save the loud volume for when no one’s home.
Drown yourself out with courtesy music. Your roommate might come on to the fact that the music and closed door means you’re having sex, but it’s better than you moaning. Don’t forget, it’s courtesy music, not background music.
Give yourself a few minutes to recuperate after that mind-blowing orgasm before you go out of your room. Due to the flushed cheeks and sex hair, it’s obvious what you’ve been doing. Catch your breath, control the sex hair and say hi to your hopefully oblivious roommate.
No matter how upset you are with your roommate, never ever have sex in their bed. Instead of having an upset roommate, you might have an appreciative one that may reciprocate the favor. Because let’s face it – whatever goes around comes around