Best of Ram Talk

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May 042006
 
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I saw a squirrel doing the Sudoku puzzle today. Then it got mad at me for copying some of his answers.

Did you notice that when the steam pipe burst, the entire campus reeked of fish? I guess we know how the lagoon goldfish story ended now. Rest in peace, little gold buddies.

Dear Time Traveler, I am your man. I will be able to keep my wits about me in a sticky situation. Also, my knowledge of history may serve us well. I am excited about this venture. However, I require some details of our trip before I commit. P.S. I don’t do dinosaurs.

If God didn’t want me to sit around all Saturday drinking beer in my underwear, he would have made sloth a sin.

My dream girl wears big-framed sunglasses and Ugg boots … Where am I going to find a girl like that at CSU?

I’m the guy that ran from the bike police that has been mentioned a couple of times, so I thought I’d send in my two cents. Here it is: If by “caught me,” you mean I got off campus, was completely hung over and decided to stop, then you are half right. If you mean your partner then RAN INTO MY STOPPED BIKE and flipped over, also “eating it,” well, now you’ve got it. Crack team of bike specialists you all are. Keep up the good work.

Dick Cheney shot one of his friends in the face. How gangsta is that?

Un-fazed by the roundhouse kick of Chuck Norris, John Elway promptly led a fourth quarter comeback win.

How many CU freshmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that’s a senior course!

I saw a squirrel eating a nut. Then it threw the nut down and said in a British accent, “Effin’ nuts! Fed up with ’em always. I long for a grapefruit.”

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