I saw a sign in the library today that said, "This computer closed for cleaning." Does that mean we had more people masturbating?
I realized yesterday that George W. Bush looks, talks and sounds like Mr. Rogers.
It was creepy.
I'm giving up calling my ex for Lent…Text messaging is OK.
Is it possible to explain why in my midterm paper I am missing the letter H? "Disclaimer: my keyboard is missing te letter between G and J. Sorry for te confusion."
It is really irritating when I have been sitting in class and a late person walks in and sits next to me making the most noise possible distracting me from the lecture. Thus I prefer saving a seat for my friend who will just quietly slip in. After all, everyone pays just as much to attend this school; it is just too bad I beat you to the seats (you know who you are).
Sure, five squirts of fluffy soap is daring and maybe even bold, but when I'm feeling a little bit crazy, I like to walk into Morgan Library and turn left.
All these chicks wanna do is talk about chick stuff. And not the fun chick stuff like ribbons and unicorns. Boring stuff, like oppression and a hostile work environment.
To the rock star in my stats class, will you please stop drumming on your desk like you're a big deal. If you were that big of a deal you wouldn't have to go to class.
Junior triple major male looking for a cute female secretary to help out with homework. Pay is the occasional jellybean, but you do get to work with an awesome paper shredder.
To wash before and after potty time: Just think of all the people who don't wash up at all. Despite all your efforts you're touching the same doorknob that they touch on your way out of the restroom.