Conservatives need a spokesperson. We need someone famous, with a well-known name who can preach our cause to the public every chance they get.
I was thinking about nominating Ronald McDonald for the job. Nearly every person in the world recognizes Ronald and since he is famous he MUST have extensive knowledge of politics and the intricate workings of national affairs.
If liberals can get political masterminds Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange to speak for them, why can't we have Ronald McDonald? They all have about the same level of credibility, while one makes really bad hamburgers and the others make really bad movies (OK fine, "Mystic River" wasn't bad).
I mention this suggestion today in light of news that the afore-mentioned celebrities have recently taken up a new cause: begging President Bush to resign. They are the newest supporters of the group World Can't Wait and are planning on protesting at the State of the Union Address on the 31st of this month.
The group's Web site, worldcantwait.net, provides a plethora of information on how to force the president out of office by making a lot of noise during his speech and "drowning out the lies." Conveniently enough, World Can't Wait has a local chapter in the friendly town of Boulder just southwest of us. Unfortunately, my attempts to contact them via e-mail went unanswered. Maybe they saw some of my previous work.
My first question to them was how exactly their plan is supposed to work. The closest thing I could find to an answer on the Web site was, "We will demonstrate nation-wide, demanding, 'BUSH STEP DOWN and take your program with you!' People will drown out his lies with their voices and by bringing the noise and taking to the streets in cities and towns across the nation."
So somehow "banging pots and pans," as one member suggested, miles from the actual venue of the speech is going to convince President Bush to just throw in the towel. Huh?
The next thing I wanted to know was if they really thought adding Susan Sarandon and Ward Churchill (Yes, CU professor Ward Churchill) to their list of supporters would garner respect and credibility from more mainstream political outlets.
It was after trying to contact them on these matters, however, that I learned the group was founded with the support of members of the Revolutionary Communist Party. This little ditty of information, which they admit to near the end of their FAQ section, really aroused my interest. These celebrities (and pseudo-celebrities in Ward Churchill's case) who continually crusade to be considered legitimate political pundits are now openly supporting a communist organization? Oh, what a tangled web we weave.
However ridiculous this all seems at first, it now appears that extremists like Mr. Churchill, Harry Belefonte, Rev. Al Sharpton, every incoherent idiot in Hollywood and everyone's favorite Cindy Sheehan (I'm not making this up these people are really on the list of sponsors) are exactly the type of people that should be endorsing a communist organization.
I encourage all my readers to watch the State of the Union next week without banging on pots and pans and actually think about what is being said. Oh, and Ronald McDonald says vote GOP.
Ryan Chapman is a senior marketing major. His column runs Wednesdays in the Collegian.