When I heard there was a sequel to "Jumanji" in the works, nothing but excitement pulsed through my body. I was instantly thrown into an out-of-body experience recalling all of my favorite scenes except, instead of that annoying little kid, it was I who was running around with Robin Williams.
Not even the fact that this supposed sequel takes place solely in a house spinning through space could curb my excitement; it had to be awesome. My excitement even dragged a friend with me to whom I still haven't found a way to appropriately apologize for his loss of $5.25 and an hour and a half of his life. Sorry man, you were right, just because it's in outer space doesn't mean it's going to be as sweet as "Leprechaun 4: In Space."
Believe it or not, and I'd rather not, Tim Robbins takes the role of the divorced father of three children. Walter, the 14-or-so-year-old brother, is constantly blaming his younger bro, Danny's, existence on all his problems. There's also a rebellious, music-blaring sister Lisa, who never really makes an appearance as she's busy doing the normal teen things like sleeping and applying makeup.
As Robbins steps out of the house for a few, Danny tries to mend their differences by playing this cool space game, Zathura, which he's found in the basement. Too bad he never saw "Jumanji," or he would have known the vague paragraph-long directions about the pieces resetting once the game is over only means for trouble.
The first half hour or so was actually really intriguing and fun to watch as the brothers went at each other's thoughts as only good siblings do. Then they started to play the game, with the first card instigating a meteor shower to pummel their living room to pieces.
That's about where the excitement of the movie stops for someone over the age of, say, 17. The second card brings a robot that is just too cheesy and dumb to be in a movie with such huge possibilities. Then the ending happened, the Disney Channel made for TV brotherly-love, brainwashing ending, and all hope for success completely washed away. I hate to be so down on it, but I'm not usually one to dislike a children's flick, and this just turned into a total sham as far as a sequel goes. The true lesson to be learned from "Zathura:" if you hire the man responsible for the "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie" screenplay, don't be surprised when some questionable material results.
1 out of 5 ramheads