RamTalk

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Feb 242005
 
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Two things: 1. True, there are no "Penis Monologues," but you guys do have

"Puppetry of the Penis" which is pretty impressive; we can't do any kind of tricks down there and 2. Five stars for Taurus yesterday, so don't complain about it again.

Q: How do you catch an elephant?

A: Hide in the grass and make a sound like a peanut.

What is the deal with psycho ex-girlfriends? Seems like every guy you meet has at least one psycho chick that he keeps around. If she is so crazy why do you insist on having her around? I'm puzzled by this question over and over again, and then I wonder… does someone think I'm a psycho ex-girlfriend? I hope not, but chances are someone does! Funny how that works.

You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

I wanna give a shout out to my favorite bar on campus (granted it is the only

one) the Ramskeller, with their great pizza and a pitcher deal and awesome bar staff, it truly is the reason that we are better than CU!

On 2/23, this paper was issued with at least two large photos, one in color, that were roughly two weeks old (photos dated 2/05, 2/09). For a paper produced every weekday, why did it take TWO WEEKS or more for photos to appear, especially without accompanying articles? If it's not important enough to run within three business days, don't bother with old photos/news. That is space wasted that could be better used to provide useful, or even current, information.

Why is Non-Sequitur so tiny? It's one of the funniest comic strips in the

Collegian, yet you need a magnifying glass to see it!

What happened to the Letters to the Editor section in Thursday's Collegian?

That's my favorite section!

Best quote ever! My friend said it when she was talking about her family's holiday dinners…."My family is like a big Greek family except they are half Mormon and half really horny atheists." Seriously, isn't that one of the funniest sentences you've ever heard?

BJO's breakup tip #7. Whilst spooning with the significant other, tell her how much you love her and how she has changed your life forever. Then, in a Gollum-like hiss, say "my precioussssss…," they love that.

The plural of "cul-de-sac" is "culs-de-sac", NOT "cul-de-sacs". Look it up. And tell all of the kids to stop censoring all of my opinions!

A few rules for Under Armor

1. If your belly is bigger than your chest don't wear it.

2. If you have man boobs don't wear it.

3. If your upper body is bigger than your lower body DONT WEAR IT.

4. If you can't clean and press your own body weight above your head sleeves are required.

5. If you don't know what a clean and press is you shouldn't wear it.

6. If you are doing an activity that will not make you perspire don't wear it.

7. If you wear this along with other football player designators, find a new source of self-esteem/way to pick up chicks.

I'm not sure but if the Frisbee golf course was taken out because of liability reasons shouldn't we then, not allow cars and bikes on campus. I'm pretty sure there are more fatalities from those…

Small cars, small minds, Honda drivers must suffer from pickup envy.

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