Feb 082005
Authors: JP Eichmiller

The Super Bowl last weekend was not just a sad day for those betting on the Patriots to cover the spread. Witnessed during the half time of the great American extravaganza was the low point of our national hypocrisy.

While many no doubt enjoyed the toe-tapping, non-controversial ballads offered by Sir Paul McCartney, I for one felt as though I was being force-fed a geriatrics version of live entertainment.

It is said that the Beatles and Wings used to be popular bands, and were this Super Bowl X, either might have been a fine choice as the halftime performer. Reliving these wonder years, however, seems slightly tasteless considering the long-ago passing of John Lennon and more recently George Harrison and Linda McCartney. If 50 percent of your band members are dead, it may be time to move on to bigger and better things or risk becoming the next Lynard Skynard.

This is not meant to pick on Sir Paul, as he seems to be a swell guy, but rather on those whose collective souls were so disturbed by the exposure of a breast the previous year. It says here that if you had a problem with what occurred at last year's Super Bowl, then perhaps you are the problem.

Understand that I am not supporting gratuitous, blatant sex scenes in the middle of America's biggest game. After all, this is football I am trying to watch and I've got a lot of money riding on this thing, so I would prefer to keep distractions to a minimum. But what happened is not some "burning bush" omen of the degradation of American values. Whether it was intentional or not matters little.

It was a breast, people! Half of our population has them, and the other half spent the first year and a half of their lives staring at their mothers'. That so many people were "shocked and outraged" by the event is the real sign of our country's moral decay. Do any of you recall how many of our young soldiers died on that fateful day in January of last year, sacrificing their lives in faraway places so that we can gorge ourselves with beer and hot wings? Unless it was one of your relatives, than I doubt any of us do.

Where the hypocrisy of this whole ordeal comes is that naked breasts and gangster rap are more reflective of our culture than Paul McCartney will ever be. We Americans are the world leaders in the production of pornography, importation of narcotics and building of weapons of mass destruction.

It has been estimated that up to 10 percent of our nation's gross domestic product goes toward the underground or "black" market economies. These are the unreported, untaxed markets that give us the prostitution, undocumented workers, gambling, and illegal narcotics that so many of you spend your parents' hard-earned money on.

Since Congress was taken over by Republicans 10 years ago, our nation has been in a hypocritical conservative vacuum. On one hand it is worth impeaching a president over marital indiscretion – wasting valuable money and an entire session of Congress. Yet on the other, it is allowable to mislead the public on reasons to go to war and send soldiers to die against a country that never even insinuated attacking us. While it is acceptable for us to promote globalization of markets as we watch Wal-Mart, Microsoft and McDonald's take over the world, it is intolerable for us to view images that may require a parent to explain something to a child outside of school. It is of no use for our media to paint us as a hyper-moralistic society, when our policies and money prove otherwise.

JP Eichmiller is a senior studying technical journalism. His column runs every Wednesday in the Collegian.

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