Nov 292004
Authors: Jennifer Johnson


Some students may be in a hurry to find that special someone during their college years but rushing into a relationship could cause negative effects.

Elizabeth Sutphin, a senior staff counselor at the University Counseling Center, said society may cause students to feel pressured into finding "the one."

"You only have to look at the media and TV shows to see that a lot of emphasis is focused on finding a relationship," she said.

Sutphin said there are many students who seek counseling at the UCC to help them deal with the lack of romantic relationships in their lives.

"This is a very important issue at the UCC and we focus some of our counseling groups on these issues in particular," she said. "Many clients try individual and group counseling to try to build their support network. I also recommend finding groups with similar interests and finding things to do on campus which may facilitate meeting more people."

Sutphin said the counselors at the UCC work with clients to improve their social skills and promote social activities.

"Sometimes treating the underlying depression, or anxiety, is what is needed to encourage the client to do more social activities. Building on a client's strengths is one of the many approaches to dealing with this issue," she said.

When meeting new people and starting relationships, Sutphin said many students tend to be close minded, which can decrease their chances of developing a good, strong relationship.

"Don't rule certain people out until you get a chance to know them and remember that many good relationships start from a friendship," she said.

Although it is important for students to meet new people and build good relationships, Sutphin also believes it is important for them to remember to take their time when looking for a serious, long-term relationship.

"It is a good idea to write down the qualities that you look for in your ideal partner and then compare them to how closely the person you meet fits your requirements. Students also need to listen to their instincts and not let the heat of the moment cloud up their better judgment," she said. "Some relationships which were begun in a haste may end up with difficulties later because the couple didn't take the time to get to know each other."

Shayna Grajo, a sophomore open-option business major, is not too concerned with finding the right person anytime soon, but understands why students may feel anxious to start a long-term relationship.

"College could end up taking awhile so I think that many students like having someone along for the ride," she said. "I think it's also nice to know that you have someone and you don't have to worry about dating around."

Lauren Davis, a freshman open-option business major, thinks that not all students feel pressure to rush into a relationship.

"I think it depends on the type of person," she said. "Many students believe that they will find the right one in college, but I think it is important to keep your options open."

Davis does not believe that rushing into a relationship will necessarily cause problems later on as long as students follow their true feelings.

"One of my friends married at a young age and his relationship is perfect," she said. "If couples take care of each other and they are happy, then students should definitely pursue a long-term relationship."

For students who are struggling with finding a serious relationship and feel frustrated, Grajo believes as long as they continue to be involved in the things they love, eventually they will find the right person.

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