Nov 042004
Authors: Joe Marshall

Conformity is cool!

The results of the 2004 election are in and the United States of

America gets to have President George W. Bush for another term.

If my pride was temporarily crushed late Tuesday night, by

Wednesday morning I had totally lost all pride. I awoke with a new

sense of piety and at breakfast I, too, decided to embrace him as

my fearless leader.

No, not really. After successfully avoiding the Republican scare

machine for an entire campaign, I will now openly admit that I fear

Bush, and that’s all Bushes, not just the president. The Bush could

be 83, bald and beaten up, and I’d still be afraid.

Go ahead and call me a sore loser or a bad sport; I’m not

disputing the outcome of the vote. What simply and singularly

flabbergasts me is how a majority of Americans actually voted for


For some, the 2004 Presidential Election may be the toughest

political loss in a generation. For those of you who feel this way,

let me also remind you of our generation’s most backward political

organization – the Democrats.

This jackass party just can’t seem to win a presidential

election anymore. Except Bill Clinton, the left hasn’t elevated one

of its own to the presidency in almost 30 years.

I must say I am amazed with the Republican political machine.

The right won such a tight race by keeping the message simple and

catering not to a person’s better judgment but to more primal


In our already polarized nation, the swing issue was war, and in

the end all Bush had to do was remind voters of what a dangerous

place the world is. Terror scares people.

While the Democrats did very well in Colorado Tuesday,

nationally they talked issues and Republicans talked terror.

Nationally, the Republicans strengthened their hold in both houses

of Congress.

Such solid control over Congress is what I am least excited to

see at the end of this election. While I am positively alarmed at

the prospect of Bush being able to shift the posture of the U.S.

Supreme Court, the right is now only a few seats shy of being able

to stop the minority’s power to filibuster legislation.

Only in America could a popular mandate end democracy.

Alas, as I was preparing to renounce my citizenship and cursing

our archaic two-party system, I felt my armband and its

inscription, WWLSD, and was saved from further anguish. What Would

Luke Skywalker Do?

Remember back to Star Wars Episode V, which ended the same way

as the election and almost like the American League Baseball

Championship? Luke was driven to the brink of death and forced to

admit whom his daddy was!

In the end, however, Luke lived and was forced to don a

mechanical hand, which, while it made him more like his enemy, also

evened the odds. To fight the man, Luke had to be the man.

If the Democrats have any chance, which they might not, of

keeping America from becoming a one-party democracy, they need to

be like the young Skywalker – adapt to change and prevail in spite

of adversity.

Did Luke cower when Han Solo and Princess Leah were being held

prisoner by Jaba the Hut? No! He walked right into Jaba’s palace

and demanded their release! When that didn’t work, he used a light

saber stashed in R2-D2 to slay Jaba and send Boba Fet to a most

unheroic death.

Then again, I’m not sure if Hillary Clinton would know how to

properly handle a giant, flaming sword.

Vote Jeb Bush/Dick Cheney in 2008.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

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