For students who may feel their relationship is suffering from
unresolved conflicts and miscommunication, couples therapy may be
Couples therapy is offered at the University Counseling Center
to help students focus on issues such as poor communication
patterns, unmet needs, personality conflicts and feelings of under
appreciation in a relationship.
“Students come to couples therapy with as many issues as you can
imagine,” said Steve Ross, clinical psychologist at the University
Counseling Center. “Communication, school and work schedules,
family conflicts and financial issues are just a few.”
Ross said the therapy tends to be educational and
solution-focused, concentrating on strengths and providing
“homework” assignments to practice new ways of communicating,
connecting and sharing tasks.
“Although it is definitely hard to balance a relationship on top
of school and work life, couples therapy can help students figure
out a way to balance their time and make room for the
relationship,” Ross said.
While couples therapy seeks to improve problems occurring in
relationships, some students may attend sessions because they wish
to end a relationship on good terms or resolve relationship issues
to allow them to maintain a friendship.
“Some students may not want to always improve their
relationship, but instead want to come in to help them deal with
feelings of loss and grief that they may endure after a breakup,”
Whatever the case for seeking couples therapy, Ross suggests
couples not wait to come in, even if the problem is minor, because
it is better to work on the issue early on.
Susan Macquiddy, psychologist and training director at the UCC,
said any kind of couple is welcome at couples therapy.
“We see a number of married, unmarried, gay and lesbian
couples,” she said.
Macquiddy said the primary reasons students come to couples
therapy is to either prevent problems before they can occur, or
because of difficulties that are already taking place.
“The therapy sessions are a good way to not only learn about the
relationship, but also yourself as you begin to develop various
skills in order to solve problems effectively,” she said.
Macquiddy feels that aside from inner-relationship conflicts, a
difficult relationship may have negative effects on school, work
and social activities as well.
“Relationships are important to us, so they can cause
distractions in our everyday life, especially if a lot of energy is
spent on solving problems,” she said.
Dominic Brewer, a senior staff counselor at the UCC, believes
graduate students may have the most difficult time when dealing
with school and a problematic relationship.
“I think a lot of problems occur because there is not enough
time allowed for the relationship due to hectic school schedules
and added pressure to spend time with each other makes it harder,”
Brewer said couples therapy is a good idea because it helps
reconcile any differences and assesses if there is enough love and
commitment left to work through the problem.
“About 99.9 percent of couples want to work on the relationship
and stay together, but if couples cannot seem to connect, breaking
up is usually the outcome,” he said.
All three psychologists contacted at the UCC agree that
communication is key to maintaining and balancing a healthy
“Couples need to realize that in order to prevent problems from
occurring, they need to create time with each other.” Ross said.
“This time together will help maintain a healthy, loving