Sep 132004
Authors: Matt Hitt

Well kids, classes have been going on for a few weeks now and,

in the spirit of academia, I’d like to administer a pop quiz.

Here’s the question.

Carmelo Anthony and Joe Sakic are both:

A. Lethal assassins working with a terrorist organization known

as the Black Hand.

B. Hotshot cops on the hit show “Crime Scene Detective


C. Elderly comedians currently touring the nursing homes of

South Dakota.

D. Athletes on teams whose games will be broadcast less than 35

combined times in Fort Collins this year.

E. None of the above.

OK, time’s up. Now, how many people guessed “E,” none of the

above? Amazing as it sounds, the answer is D. That’s right; the

Avalanche and the Nuggets games will not be seen on the basic cable

package available to everyone in the residence halls and most

people in Fort Collins.

In March of this year, Stan Kroenke, owner of the Avalanche, the

Nuggets and the Mammoth, created a new television network on which

to broadcast his team’s games. Now, Stan the Man is a pretty swell

guy. Remember a few years back, when the Pepsi Can opened up in

Denver? Unlike the other two ownership groups in town, which made

Johnny Taxpayer foot the bill for new stadiums, Stan reached into

his own pockets and built an arena. (In fairness, he does have a

big slice of the Wal-Mart pie, so I don’t think the construction

sent him to the poorhouse, but it’s still a very nice gesture.)

Anyhow, I’d have no problem seeing the Avs and Nuggets go off

FOX Sports Net, their previous home. One of their commentators, a

certain Tim Ring, made a crack about CSU students having an

inferiority complex in regards to CU. So naturally, I, quite proud

to be a CSU Ram, see no problem with taking a lucrative TV contract

away from the boys at FOX.

But there is a slight problem with the whole new network

shindig. It’s not carried by Comcast, which services the residence

halls, most of Colorado and the known universe. Ergo, we shan’t be

seeing the games on Stan’s new network, named Altitude, which,

according to Altitude’s official Web site, will number at least 65

slots for each team. Now, if Altitude was on Comcast, that’d be

just jim-dandy, as that will be the most combined games for our

teams to be broadcast in one season ever. Altitude’s official Web

site,, was a regular fount of information, giving

me Comcast’s phone number to request my Altitude.

I called Comcast and asked my customer service representative if

Altitude would ever be available in Fort Collins and if the channel

would be premium. Unfortunately, the answer was that negotiations

are in progress and there was no word on whether or not the channel

would be premium.

I will tell you right now that I want to see my Avs and Nuggets

play this year. (The Mammoth I’m fairly indifferent to, although in

lacrosse you can hit the other team with sticks, so maybe I should

give them another shot).

In any case, I am taking it upon myself as a concerned citizen

to get Altitude in Fort Collins. I urge all of you out there to

call up Comcast and politely request that the Altitude Sports

Network be broadcast in Fort Collins. It wouldn’t hurt to politely

suggest that if Altitude doesn’t come, you’ll just switch to Dish

Network, which, coincidentally, does carry Altitude. (This may be a

hollow threat for those of us in the halls). Nonetheless, if you

want your Avalanche and your Altitude, the number is


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